Everytime I practice some form of Qigong, I end up growing to hate it for no reason. Last week, I started practicing Master Lin's Small Universe (after a long hiatus from meditation); it was an extremely exhilirating experience, I felt relaxed, happy, and every other good thing you could possibly feel from meditating. Now, just a week later, I feel like **** whenever I try to practice Small Universe, just the thought of it makes me ill. The same thing happened with Qigong, and I can't figure it out. The only time I can ever enjoy these exercises is when I've waited so long I've forgotten what they felt like. How can I fix this?

Is there something, maybe, you believe about it that makes you feel that way?

Do you feel on some level that maybe it's bad to experience that kind of exhilirating, relax, happy experience through qigong or meditation?

It may be that you've gone deeper into yourself and are encountering some kind of energy block that you may need to work through? I don't know.

I think a healthy dose of self-exploration might be helpful here.

First off, I would say that you shouldn't ask "What is wrong with me" because your mind is going to find an answer to that one even if it has to make it up.

If you put the smile on your face and keep thinking that this is the most beautiful thing you have ever done and generate those type feelings you probably find it becoming much easier. Do not let your mind pull you into thinking it is hard and efforting because if you focus on that, that is what you get more of.

Jeff

Again Nacho, this is not in my experience. My suggestion is to stay with the Positive focus. View this as a movement of energy and that by staying with SFQ you and the universe will move you to a better place of healing.

When you do SFQ you may have some negative experiences, try and stay with it as long as you can. Master Lin would say that this is the time when you can make the most progress.

Master you will, choose to do SFQ and do it. Do not expect, because you do not know the path. Do not lablel, because you do not understand. Have faith in the universe and confidence in your practice. You need not know the route or recognize the terrain to know your best course is given shown in the words of your master. Perhaps you should revisit his instructions again. You may find and answer you didn't see before.

You are perfection.
Iam2

My 2 cents now. I agree with everything everyone has said so far. All good advice and comments. I would add that from my experience with mindfulness Zen meditation and insight meditation, also the Toltec tradition, it is good to remember that this is just your mind talking. There are so many voices in our head talking to us all the time. We've been listening to them all our lives, but we don't have to. Often they are not talking truth, they're just talking out of fear, out of past negative experiences. We don't have to believe them, just thank them for their opinion and go on.

Also I would add that if you are like many or most of us, you've often thought there was something wrong with you. That's what has led many of us to Qigong and the spiritual growth path, this 'what's wrong with me' question. Certainly it was so with me. So it is a good thing. Leading us questions, and to the answers. Meanwhile, the first answer, there is nothing wrong with you..

I understand where you are, I've been where you are. I have every faith you can 'break through' but it might take a great deal of consistency and contining to practice even when not sure why, for a time. You are not alone. This forum, the universal energy, Master Lin, all of us who send healing energy to each other. We're all here. There is nothing wrong with your question, and there is NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU.

Rest assured.

Also, read Master Lin's book. You will know this is a man who has nothing but love in his heart and this practice is nothing but love in action. No fear. The universe is a loving and supportive place. I don't know why, but I believe everything this man says. I totally trust him. And the universe.

I feel great empathy for you. I hope this speaks to your heart. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to respond. It has helped me think about my own feelings.

Life is short. Enjoy and celebrate. Spend time every day being grateful.

Gratefully,
Stephanie

I went through a long period of not being able to practise SFQ on a regular basis and then I used the Sedona Method goal setting process to ovecome my resistance to it. The Sedona Method view is that we resist even what we most want to do on occasions, but a fairly simple procedure really helped me to get back in touch with my practice. There are tapes available and also a book.

Love

Kev

babayada - Everything I like I grow to dislike. I can't explain why it happens, all I know is that started 3 years ago, and I can't shut it off.

I self explore on a daily basis. Still, I can't find a practical answer to this.

jeffdengr - Too late. My mind already decided that in order continue with my meditation I should quite forcing myself, and only meditate when I have no tension whatsoever no matter how long that takes.

My mind, beleive it or not, isn't the one telling me to pull away from this. I feel like ****, but I'm not telling myself to feel that way. I could tell myself over, and over again that this is one of the most beatiful things on Earth (and I have), and it won't help. I've found the only way to curve these feelings is by letting my mind drift into other thoughts, which basically means little to no focus on the exercise I'm doing.

Steph - If there is a voice in my mind that's generating these feelings, then I cannot hear it. I lost the ability to create emotion from thoughts a while ago. That is why I'm worried. The feelings I have cannot be explained (for now), and thus they cannot be controlled (for now). I have read Master Lin's book, and have been practicing SFQ for over a year now.

I hope this info helps somewhat, I put off responding to this topic because I was afraid of what your responses would be. I also decided to wait until 12:30 in the morning to write this on a school night with a 5 page draft for English that still needs finishing, which means this response probably looks a little half-assed. I'll try to get here a little earlier next time.

Thanks
Notch

Nacho,

Your description reminds me of the description
of spiritual dryness. I think St. John of the
Cross called it The Dark Night of the Soul.
There is another name which I cannot find
right now like asadea: Someone else may know.

It sounds to me as if you are going through
a spiritual passage. SFQigong is many things;
one of which is a spiritual practice.

I can only encourage you to continue the
practice as best you can. It may be just
doing one of the meditations or one small
active exercise of your choosing until
what you are going through lifts.

You might put yourself in the group
healing.

Gianni

"I can only encourage you to continue the
practice as best you can. It may be just
doing one of the meditations or one small
active exercise of your choosing until
what you are going through lifts."

I question the healing power of the active exercises. Aside from some feelings of relaxation, and increased creativity, and some minor physical improvements nothing major ever came from doing them over and over again.

Now, even though this topic seems to have died already, I thought I'd use it to ask another question regarding SFQ meditation. It's Day 4 since I started doing Small Universe meditations on a daily basis, and since finishing my last meditation exercise I've grown a heightened sense of anxiety that I can't seem to shake off. If anyone has any advice for how to shake this off, I'm all ears.

I don't want these feelings to carry over when it's time to do my next meditation.
----

Also, I'm currently developing two cold sores on my lower lip. Now, I don't know if that has anything to do with what's causing my anxiety, but it really doesn't seem to be helping.

[This message has been edited by Nacho (edited November 30, 2004).]

Nacho,

Believe me doing the standing exercises are very powerful and they defentaly have great health benefits. You really have to put a lot of time and concentration into the exercises to really get the maximum benefits from them. If you had your third eye open and you looked at someone doing the exercises you would see the tremendous energy movement that is taking place. My guess is you are dealing with some major blockages which is why you are not feeling much. I used to have that problem where I would not feel very much even after doing a long set of exercises. I would recommend what ended up helping me was getting a friend to work with. This friend and me did (still do) level two healing practice on each other. That way you can really concentrate on getting rid of the blockages in your system, which will greatly help you practice.

-RoyalC130

Nacho, RoyalC130 is correct. The active meditations is the best thing you can do for your overall physical health in SFQ. You can use the other techniques to work on specific problems like cold sores.

Small Universe and Self Concentration are very good meditations, but it's hard to believe you are maintaining a positive attitude. It doesn't come across in your posts. What I sense is anger and fear, although you've stated that you've lost the ability to create emotion from thought a while ago. I understand it may feel like you don't have control, and no you can't control everything. That's one of the reasons that Faith is one of the six keys to success in SFQ. It is also important to be calling on master(s) for whom you Have Great respect. Respect for what they are, what they represent, what they can do, and for SFQ I think for how they care about you.

Please put yourself into the Weekend healing sessions. Distance is not an issue for Qi.

I won't try and explain the feelings you're going through. It may take time for energy blockages to move. For some people the clear quickly, for others it takes multiple sessions, and others still need SFQ and other modalities. Have you considered other modalities to help your SFQ work.

Now the last bit I want to share is from the Abundance for Life course. It's the Feelings Exercise. You can find enough information on the forum to understand it. It has several levels, but the basic form of the meditation is all you really need.

I was about to say what I found, but it's best to just do it and follow the instructions of not labelling the feelings and not judging them. This is close to the idea of not letting you conscious mind get in the way of your SFQ experience, but it's desire to categories and claim it understands everything.

The Feeling Exercise doesn't have you move energy, it just has you exploring what you are feeling and then appreciating the gift of the feeling (This is where labelling will get in your way). If you label or judge any feeling you will have difficulty. It's wasn't easy for me, but I was pleased when things finally happened. When I came through this experience (not successfully the first few times) I could look apon all feelings (energy) and gifts, dispite my old and sometimes negative labels.

Because of this Fear is one of my best friends. I'm still working on making anger a good friend.

Nacho, remember to be Kind, Loving, and Forgiving of yourself and everything in your world. Try and merge with the peace and love of the universe as you start SFQ, but don't judge or label the experience or your percieved level of accomplishment. You are experiencing what you need to experience, and following SFQ will help you to completely heal.

You Are Perfection.
Iam2

Nacho.....Here's a possible explanation for you to examine.........In life we are often the effect of COUNTER INTENTION, COUNTER THOUGHT........by that I mean an opposing
idea to yours.

People around you might be expressing their counter ideas to you, and you're being affected by it.

Consider this: thought is powerful. And when someone tosses a thought into the world, it sticks, it moves, it alters behavior, it can alter health.

And if someone is even hinting, or mildly suggesting a COUNTER THOUGHT, it will affect you. It could shut you down, so to speak.

Now the most important COUNTER THOUGHT to look for is that expressed by a SP.
(suppressive person).

SPs exist all over society. They crush good ideas. They make you feel worthless.
They shrink your abilities. They cause
all sorts of weaknesses, and many times we don't detect their presence.

An SP might be your cousin, your neighbor, your boss, your motherin law, your golfing buddy.........

So, do some serious study and you just might find the answer to your question.

Best of luck.

Nacho;

I take it that your point is that you are dealing with "feelings" that come up during SFQ practise and they are strong enough to distract you from practising the active exercises.

As Iam2 pointed out maybe using the Abundance For Life "Feel the Feeling" or the Sedona Method to release these feelings so you can get on with SFQ Practise is good advice.

You also mentioned only working on areas that there is no tension, which is a viable choice. As you work on this area where there is no resistance make an effort to have it grow into other areas of your body and your life.

When you look any kind of therapy, say you had a terrible experience and suffered some damage. You have nightmares or whatever, the situation is hopeless right now. But as you release these feelings it somehow becomes a "nothing" in fact it may become a real blessing. So what changed? The history of the event didn't change, only your feeling or attitude towards the event changed and you are back in control, you're a happening dude or dudette.

If you can just witness the feeling when it comes up during practise and don't resist it, it generally will just let go.

I also recommend the saturday noon SFQ healing meditation.

Jeff

Thankyou all for your advice, and comments. If I can get time I'd like to respond to everyone's posts, as well as present another problem I've discovered from practicing Small Universe. Later.

`Matt

Okay, I'm going to be honest, and say something that might not make any sense, but I'm going to say it anyway. I trully believe Master Lin's Small Universe meditation has helped me bring out a part of myself that I've been longing for for years. The part of me that can deal with situations quick and logically, read a person's thoughts through their words and gestures, and present goals and dreams that can actually be met through much work and perserverance (which this part of me can also provide). However, and this is the weird part, I believe that Master Lin's meditation has also brought out the part of a me that I've been trying to ignore for many years now. The part of me that prevents me from seeing humor in obviously humorous situations, the part of me that deplores inner honesty, that doesn't like feelings of happiness or love, and the part of me that I've never been able to explain since it came to my being three+ years ago. Every second I spend writing this I feel myself slipping into the coma like state I've been in for about a year and a half now, where both sides of myself are ignored so I can finally relax on a physical level. Hear me, I don't want to relax if it means becoming unnaware of my life, and my surroundings, and so I continue to keep the anxiety that comes with the awareness until I find someway to rid myself of it. However, lately that task has grown much more complicated. I cannot sleep with this anxiety, and when the time comes to do Small Universe I become so tired that I cannot go longer than a minute without falling out of consciousness.

I'm not sure what these healing sessions are you speak of, but if there's a possibility they will help please sign me up.

[This message has been edited by Nacho (edited December 07, 2004).]

Nacho, the weekly healing sessions are the distance group healings. Check out the Dated thread topic on the SFQ Discussion Board. It is usually posted by Shawn.

If you are doing your SFQ, it will help you. You may experience some transition periods but it part of reaching a final goal.

If you check the www.springforestqigong.com site you will find a way to arrange phone healings with Master Lin.

Work on your relaxed and positive mental attitude while doing your SFQ. Consider more traditional aid help your healing process.

You are perfection.
Iam2

P.S. review the SFQ material. There is more to SFQ than just the meditation. The meditations are just one element in a healthy life practice.

[This message has been edited by Iam2 (edited December 07, 2004).]

Matt;

You are again talking about feelings that come up during practise. You are resisting the the feeling you don't want which makes it worse. When you resist the feeling you don't want it also shuts down your ability to feel the good feelings as well.

There are alot of way to deal with feelings that come up. By just witnessing them coming up and welcoming them you can let them pass through you and be gone. There is Sedona Method, There is Abundance for Life, and there is just working on "Acceptance" of the feeling. Once you just accept the feeling the way it is it changes and generally leaves. When you internally struggle with the feelings you don't want it only becomes worse.

If you just work at loving it unconditionally no matter what it is, you accept it and don't resist it anymore, it tends to evaporate and I believe this is following SFQ practise.

This is a skill set you can develope to deal with emotional issues that come up in SFQ practise or life in general.

Jeff

"You are again talking about feelings that come up during practise."

No, I'm talking about feelings that come up because of practice and stay there until I stop meditating on a daily basis.

"You are resisting the the feeling you don't want which makes it worse. When you resist the feeling you don't want it also shuts down your ability to feel the good feelings as well."

I can't resist something I can't even control. Unless you meant to say I dislike those feelings, in which case I would ask you would expand your reasoning.

"There are alot of way to deal with feelings that come up. By just witnessing them coming up and welcoming them you can let them pass through you and be gone."

Three ****ing days without sleep. I witnessed, and welcomed, and then I couldn't continue to meditating because of it.

"There is Sedona Method, There is Abundance for Life, and there is just working on "Acceptance" of the feeling."

For Christ's sake, this isn't a bad mood swing I'm talking about, I couldn't sleep. I accepted the fact that I couldn't sleep as a sign that I was changing, and guess what, it didn't help.

"Once you just accept the feeling the way it is it changes and generally leaves."

Not this time.

"When you internally struggle with the feelings you don't want it only becomes worse."

I lie down, I close my eyes, I don't sleep. I don't see where the internal struggles are happening here. I try to rest, and I can't. I stay up, accepting that my mind cannot rest, and I'm a zombie the next morning. I'm tired, which means I don't have the time, or energy to struggle with it, and yet it still comes. I stop meditating, and it goes away, but now my mental, and spiritual growth have stunted, now what?

quote:

---

Originally posted by Nacho:

I lie down, I close my eyes, I don't sleep. I don't see where the internal struggles are happening here. I try to rest, and I can't. I stay up, accepting that my mind cannot rest, and I'm a zombie the next morning. I'm tired, which means I don't have the time, or energy to struggle with it, and yet it still comes. I stop meditating, and it goes away, but now my mental, and spiritual growth have stunted, now what?

---

I went through a period of insomnia a number
of years ago. Besides therapy and meditation,
I couldn't allow myself to go to sleep. Lying
down did no good; my mind was always racing.
My therapist couldn't help me other than to
say that it would eventually end; and it
did. It took about three or four weeks. It
was a scary time.

I had started down a spiritual path and there
was no turning back. The only way out was to go
further in. I had to ride what was happening.

quote:

---

I trully believe Master Lin's Small Universe meditation has helped me bring out a part of myself that I've been longing for for years. The part of me that can deal with situations quick and logically, read a person's thoughts through their words and gestures, and present goals and dreams that can actually be met through much work and perserverance (which this part of me can also provide). However, and this is the weird part, I believe that Master Lin's meditation has also brought out the part of a me that I've been trying to ignore for many years now. The part of me that prevents me from seeing humor in obviously humorous situations, the part of me that deplores inner honesty, that doesn't like feelings of happiness or love, and the part of me that I've never been able to explain since it came to my being three+ years ago.

---

If you can get it, read the book:
The Dark Side of The Light Chasers
by Debbie Ford. It's in paperback.

She describes what you are going through
and how to deal with it. I wish I had had
a book like that years ago.

I, as others have, encourage you to
continue the active exercises as much
as you can. Eventually you will be
able to return to the other meditations.

Gianni

Dear Nacho
positivity is the only way to achieve a free mind. The easiest way to think positively is NOT to think negatively. If your problems can't be solved at once then, after peaceful logical consideration, shelve them until a solution can be found. Don't make them worse by churning them over in your mind.
Remember it is YOUR mind and you are in control of it - NOBODY ELSE.
Try this - allow yourself 5 minutes and 5 minutes only, each day to think negatively, then put all these thoughts aside and start
to take control of your emotions and thoughts.
You can change the way you think. try to give yourself a break from thinking about anything negative. If you fail don't dwell on your failure, have another go, and again ,and again until positivity becomes part of you.
You might also be trying too hard, sometimes doing meditation or exercises with too much effort, or worrying about the length of time spent or even aiming for a practise at a certain time can sometimes have the opposite effect and your energy closes in on itself instead of expanding outwards.
Try just daydreaming - let yourself relax - don't try to be spiritual or anything else - give yourself a break, walk or sit outside , look at the trees or at the sky. The LESS effort you put into it will make it more effective.
Be kind to yourself.

On a final note - if you can't sort those cold sores buy a bottle of pure Clove Oil and dab a drop on the sores. It's cheap and it works as clove oil is an great anti virus.
Love and light
Faune