Forums IMPORTANT: PLEASE READ Paraliminals, Paraliminal Resets, Paraliminal Walkabouts, Natural Brilliance, Sonic Access Afraid to start a new relationship?

I seem to be afraid to start a serious relationship with girls who are very good people, but are ok looking. I always feel really confused about who I like. I came from a really rich small town, and I usually only find myself "loving" the girls who are good looking and not just ok looking. People ask me, "who do you like?" and I never have an answer. Now, im going to a much "poorer" school, and after being there, i'd date almost any of the girls at the school I used to. LOL. I've had 7 gf's so far, all of which were good looking or cute, and I don't consider myself to have any real problems with girls. Except, I feel awquard around a gf for some reason, and im not my full self. But I really have to say that Anxiety-Free has been working great for me, because now I find myself not getting very anxious when around girls even ones I dont know. So, what should I do? I dont want to hurt the ok girls (emotionally), by being my shallow self, but it feels like theres something pulling me away from them and towards the better looking girls. Maybe I should just wait a while for that special girl to come along that I have sparks with, because then I wont be faking it when I say "I like you".

Quick Learner, I would suggest working on your self-esteem. The Self-esteem Charger would be perfect for you. So WHY do I say this??? First of all, you seem to place the opinions (and perceived opinions) of others above your own. Second, you use a denigrating term "shallow" in reference to yourself. Third, you seem to feel that if you don't take a romantic interest in the "okay" looking girls, you're going to somehow hurt them. Fourth, you sound a bit guilty for having good looking girlfriends.
A person of high self-esteem DOES value the opinions of others but NOT more than his own. A person of high self-esteem will describe himself in uplifting terms (i.e. "I see myself as a loving, compassionate person" or "I'm a confident, fun loving person") if he references himself at all.Third, a person of high self-esteem ALLOWS others to take responsibility for their OWN self-esteem/life/happiness. And fourth, a person with high self-esteem does NOT apologize or feel guilty for his healthy and normal desires. And on that point, I think you know that it is only normal that young men ARE attracted to pretty young women! Questioning yourself and beating up on yourself will only make you miserable (and anxious) and keep you from having what you want. Give yourself PERMISSION to have what you desire!
Now that you are making real progress on your anxiety (and I applaud you for taking action on that), KNOW WITH CONFIDENCE that a high self-esteem will pay you dividends that are absolutely PRICELESS! You have some really wonderful experiences in store for you. ALLOW yourself to enjoy them (and life) to the fullest!

QuickLearner... You are in school. It's all a learning experience. And while you're going to school I cannot imagine that you want a "serious" relationship. They can blow out to a lot more responsibility than you need right now. Nothing wrong with playing the field and having a few girlfriends and preferring the ones you consider good looking. I choose my apples that way, too bad if I hurt their feelings. You are not responsible for their feelings about you nor there perceptions.

What they think of you is none of your business. All you need is to be comfortable around the people you hang around and able to deal with, walk away from people who are toxic for you.

I think you're already on the right track. And with all things it take a journey for the train to get to the next station, so give it time.

Alex

Your'e completely right. I have stopped thinking about girls for a day, and its much easier.