Forums IMPORTANT: PLEASE READ Paraliminals, Paraliminal Resets, Paraliminal Walkabouts, Natural Brilliance, Sonic Access Paraliminal to help get over EXTREME Infatuation??

This may seem a bit trivial, but for the bloke concerned it's the source of great, anguish anguish.

This person has become overwhelmingly infatuated with someone. He's happily in a relationship (so he says, and it seems to be true); she's happily in a relationship, I understand. He's aware enough not to think "I'm in love with this person; everything's changed." He knows it is irrational and will blow over; he loves his partner. But for the time being his emotions have been taken over by this infatuation.

Does anyone think that one of the paraliminals might help to speed up this process of "blowing over."

It is very uncharacteristic of this guy. He's anything but a relationship junky, and hasn't had a crush of this magnitude for, he says, decades, since he was a boy. He says it is as though he has been "mugged" by this enormous, unwelcome emotion.

Can anyone think of a Paraliminal CD that might help him? I wondered about Breaking the Habit.

Any thoughts?

Marc

Hey Marc - from what I gather your friend is already in a relationship but is infatuated with SOMEONE ELSE - am I understanding correctly?

If so perhaps using Creating Sparks and/or Positive Relationships about his longtime partner instead of his infatuation might help him.

Usually if a persons attention and affection strays from their main relationship it is because their needs aren't being met. If he concentrates on his "real" relationship it may help his infatuation fall by the wayside a bit quicker.

I say this as a believer in the Law of Attraction and that you get what you think about it and if your friend is constantly fearing he will stray from his partner that might be exactly what occurs.

I agree that those paraliminals might be useful in this situation.

I am not in agreement with the idea that "Usually if a persons attention and affection strays from their main relationship it is because their needs aren't being met" That may occasionaly be the case (especialy if the person leaves or cheats) however I think that it is a dangerous generalization that can lead to shame and guilt and even destruction of relationship.

It is natural for people to feel attraction, infatuation, etc. Nothing wrong with it, in my opinion. Being married, or in any committed relationship does not mean you stop being alive! Likewise, being attracted to someone or infatuated with them does not mean you will cheat or leave.

I have been deeply in love with my partner and committed to my relationship with her for 14 years, and married for 12. Never cheated or left. I have felt attraction for others, and even intensely loved some of them. Enjoyed it immensely.

Feeling love does not require any further action- just enjoy this gift form the universe, the feeling. I believe that all love is valid- it is there to be appreciated. What if love is to be multiplied rather than divided?

So, if the feelings of love and attraction are the gift, then you may love without wanting. You may love without guilt or shame or fear. You may love freely and still be faithfuly in love with your partner. In this way, following the law of attraction, you can do much to raise your vibration and positively affect the world.

This person is not suffering because of the feeling of love, but the feelings about the feelings of love. So what might be helpful for this person may be to accept and honor these emotions. Embrace the shadow. reframe the meaning of having these feelings. Expand so that more love can be contained.

Just my (rather strong) oppinons.

vitaman

Hey Guys,
Thanks for the replies.

Stratchey said:
"Hey Marc - from what I gather your friend is already in a relationship but is infatuated with SOMEONE ELSE - am I understanding correctly?" - yes, exactly this.
and:
"Usually if a persons attention and affection strays from their main relationship it is because their needs aren't being met."

Yeah, I think that's a common thought. However, in this case he seems to have just been overwhelmed by this infatuation, rather than his affections having straying: it's not that he was feeling unsatisfied with his existing relationship, he's been mugged by this overwhelming attraction to this younger woman. I have a theory that because he's getting on a bit,and she's young, that there's an element of him wanting (in a vicarious and unacknowledged way) to re-experience going through adult life again. [!] In other words a much more psychodynamic kind of underlying cause. It's made me wonder about this kind of phenomenon - I wonder whether seeing someone starting out on adult life is a reminder of what he didn't manage to do in his own journey through it, and this kind of infatuation is a kind of identification with that younger person in a futile attempt to "do it better" the second time round. If you see what I mean... [Of course, this may be complete b.s.]

Perhaps I should also say he's been with his partner for about 7 years - is the 7 year itch a real phenomenon??

VitaMan said:

"I am not in agreement with the idea that "Usually if a persons attention and affection strays from their main relationship it is because their needs aren't being met" That may occasionaly be the case (especialy if the person leaves or cheats) however I think that it is a dangerous generalization that can lead to shame and guilt and even destruction of relationship."

I'm inclined to agree - I could imagine someone thinking infatuation was 'true love' and this leading to abandoning their existing partner, with calamitous results. And I can imagine a partner confessing to an infatuation, an infatuation which would never lead to any disloyal actions, but one could imagine that such a confession (about essentially harmless feelings) could lead to misunderstanding and recriminations, leading to deep relationships being unnecessarily destabilised.

VitaMan said:
"It is natural for people to feel attraction, infatuation, etc. Nothing wrong with it, in my opinion. Being married, or in any committed relationship does not mean you stop being alive! Likewise, being attracted to someone or infatuated with them does not mean you will cheat or leave."

Agreed.

"I have been deeply in love with my partner and committed to my relationship with her for 14 years, and married for 12. Never cheated or left. I have felt attraction for others, and even intensely loved some of them. Enjoyed it immensely. "

Yeah, kind of agree here too - I have felt attraction for others, admiration, appreciation, (not sure I'd quite say "love them intensely" like VitaMan) and it makes the world brighter, and need not contain a scintilla of disloyalty. And I'm pretty sure this guy sees an element of that in this infatuation - there's a sense in which this woman provides another admirable being, a miracle of nature, a source of wonder, which is undoubtedly life-affirming. And that's all very well, but there's a downside too, which is that it's so damned extreme - it's not just admiration and appreciation and affection, which would allow him to admire in a detached kind of way, it's driving, obessing, disempowering, horribly uncomfortable. Which is where I suspect is differs very much from what VitaMan is talking about. If it could subside from anguished obsession into detached admiration, appreciation, non-demanding love, then he'd be very happy indeed. And I hope that'll happen. But at the moment, it's a source of anguish. I suppose one way of putting it is that it knocks him off his centre.

So I think he would agree with VitaMan's "... what might be helpful for this person may be to accept and honor these emotions. ... Expand so that more love can be contained." He'd love to do this, but is in the grip of this disempowering anguished, schoolboyish if you will, emotion.


thanks for the comments,

regards,

Marc

Positive Relationship Paraliminal to help him put the relationships back into perspective. If it's infatuation that's got him hooked maybe he would find it helpful to Create some Sparks with his existing relationship so to transfer the infatuation to that? Use the Creating Sparks Paraliminal, whatever qualities he found with the other person he probably found originally in his partner. So rekindling that fire might make it easier to move on.

Alex