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I just got my "You Deserve It!" CD along with the other 3 new Paraliminals. I got it because the "Belief" Paraliminal always led me to the false idea that I don't deserve happiness -- and left me stuck there. So, I was very excited to listen to the new CD last night. I woke up this morning, and I am furious at the world!
I was abused by someone I knew when I was a teenager -- let's leave it at that -- and when I tried to report the abuse going on, no one believed me. This infuriates me now, because I DIDN'T deserve that. I suppose that's why I have been depressed all these years -- apparently I thought I DID deserve that.
I want vengeance, but the abuse happened long ago, so I can't pursue that. I try to remind myself that "Success is the best revenge" -- but I don't consider myself very successful in the aftermath. So, now I'm stuck with these angry feelings and I don't know how to deal with them. I am in the process of setting up an appointment with my therapist, but that will be in a week or two, so I was wondering, what do I do until I see her?
Thanks for all of your help.
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Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 474 Likes: 1
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First, I just want to say that you are very brave to be willing to confront this stuff coming up now and should be lauded for wanting to explore it with a therapist.
Second, anger is a good sign over depression. It shows the "blocked" energy is now moving and needs to flow.
Third, I would do some journal work and affirmations along with some creative visualization. Shakti Gawain, in her classic book, CREATIVE VISUALIZATION, talks about a release technique.
Here is how I remember it (I tried this and it helped me a lot with some anger and hurt I had been holding onto):
You write, any names of people who have hurt you and/or you are holding onto some resentment or other negative emotions.
Then write down exactly what they did to you.
Then you see them as if they are in front of you.
And then you tell them that you are now releasing them.
And you write that down.
You then tear up, flush away or burn (I like burning it for some reason. Feels more powerful for me) the paper.
She says you may need to do this a few times before the release happens.
It may be that you cannot or will not release the person. But you can at least do the same kind of technique with yourself. In other words, just in case you have any guilt or feelings of shame that linger, at least work on forgiving yourself.
Shakti and others talk a lot about writing affirmations and then when resistance comes up, writing that. Then responding with another affirmation, etc.
In any case, whether you use any of the above specific techniques, journaling can be very helpful. In your own private journal, you can express yourself in any way you want.
Yo can feel free to express anger, fear, resentment etc.
I would still follow up with affirmations such as "I deserve the best in my life and I feel (or see) love coming to me now". Or "I am a person who gives and deserves love". Etc.
Be creative and play with it.
I would also try some deep breathing techniques and visualize yourself as being whole and centered. A few minutes of this every day can help you until you get to meet with your therapist.
I hope this helps and I wish you healing energy. May it be so now.
blessings,
Steve
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Joined: Mar 2004
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Learning Strategies Admin Member
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When something shifts it makes room for change. Sometimes it isn't as we expect following the complacent norm to make a slow shift.. Be careful not to make that your entire focus. No you didn't deserve the abuse, no one does. You've left a clue where you could have have been deserving yet haven't had the success you wanted because it's hinged on that.. Quote:
"Success is the best revenge" -- but I don't consider myself very successful in the aftermath.
There is a powerful co-relation there. Hence the probable release of anger.
I'd give the Paraliminal a day or two rest and then use it again. Because you do deserve the success and no one has the right to tell you that you don't deserve it. It seem like there has been thinking .. if you deserve abuse you don't deserve success that has been a lie and that realisation that it is a lie is the out pouring of emotions.
Be kind to yourself. The Paraliminal opened up a truth and I suggest using Self-Esteem Supercharger right now.
Alex
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Hi neweyes.
Though I work in the mental health field I'm not even going to pretend to be an authority or really know what I'm talking about. I'm not going to bore you and try to explain the dynamics of anger or the other detrimental emotions that may give anyone problems with improving their lives in some way. I'm very new here so I don't expect to have much influence on anything.
What I will do is offer a couple of suggestions that will serve to help you begin to work through the anger that has resurfaced after a lengthy dormancy.
Someone has already mentioned journaling. That's a great idea though I would have just called it writing down your feelings. I find that writing such feelings of emotions serve to help identify their nature and once identified will lead to their exploration. This would likely occur with the help of a therapist. Such exploration would inevitably lead to discoveries about your anger which will in turn cause the anger to lose it's grip on you (just my theory, I could be wrong).
This process involves learning important enough about the experience to evoke meaningful emotional and spiritual growth.
The other suggestion is to try your hand at poetry. Poetry offers amazing and untold therapeutic benifits. I knew someone who did just that and wrote some amazing poems because she herself had been abused by her father. She had the courage to testify against him when no one else would and it led to his conviction. Apparently she was not the only one he abused.
My point is this is something you could try doing until you see your therapist. Best wishes on your endeavor if you have not yet begone the healing process.
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I think you've been depressed all these years because you haven't really dealt with this enuf to move on, you've buried it instead of released it. That is good advise to journal. I've done that before and need to do it now, probably. Also I find the Self Esteem Supercharger helps me when things are up for me. Anyhow, even though this is unpleasant it is a good thing, because it is part of your healing so you can move on to more harmony within yourself and your world. Just remember just about everyone has some tight places inside themselves....
You can do it,
scooter ~
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I'm so glad this topic came up. I have this CD, and it's one of my absolute favorites. I, too, have had unexpected results from it, not anger, but more like sadness. I almost immediately thought it was because some part of me was resisting--so I used it a couple times more. In my case, I listen, and feel almost euphoric--and a short time later comes the crying jag. It somehow feels healing.
I really think this is one of the most powerful of all the cds now being offered by LSC. It digs deep and changes and/or heals what needs to be changed and/or healed.
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Hello everyone,
I need to get ready for work, and thus I don't have time at the moment to thank you all individually, but I do appreciate all of your replies. I will get into more detail after I come back from work.
Thank you all again.
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Quote:
First, I just want to say that you are very brave to be willing to confront this stuff coming up now and should be lauded for wanting to explore it with a therapist.
Thank you. I've never thought of myself as brave.
Quote:
Second, anger is a good sign over depression. It shows the "blocked" energy is now moving and needs to flow.
True: Depression is often anger turned inward.
Third, I would do some journal work and affirmations along with some creative visualization. Shakti Gawain, in her classic book, CREATIVE VISUALIZATION, talks about a release technique.
Here is how I remember it (I tried this and it helped me a lot with some anger and hurt I had been holding onto):
You write, any names of people who have hurt you and/or you are holding onto some resentment or other negative emotions.
Then write down exactly what they did to you.
Then you see them as if they are in front of you.
And then you tell them that you are now releasing them.
And you write that down.
You then tear up, flush away or burn (I like burning it for some reason. Feels more powerful for me) the paper.
She says you may need to do this a few times before the release happens.
It may be that you cannot or will not release the person. But you can at least do the same kind of technique with yourself. In other words, just in case you have any guilt or feelings of shame that linger, at least work on forgiving yourself.
I tried this a few times, but it didn't really help me until I realized that I had emotionally put myself on trial for telling the truth, and my credibility was being tested because of my past actions, and everyone who didn't believe me testified against me, and the penalty for my "crime" was death, and things were not looking good. I was judge, jury, prosecutor, defendant, and ultimately, I'm afraid, the potential executioner. Then, I remembered Mr. Rogers (yes, THAT Mr. Rogers) speaking authentically in a video I saw recently. I realized that the only way to free myself was to speak authentically. I basically said something like this:
"I may look alone in this trial, but I do not stand alone. I stand with every person, living and dead, that has told the truth and maintained that truth, even when no one believed those people except themselves and God. I stand with them to make sure that they are not alone. And we stand together -- we stand for truth."
It sounded better in my head than what I've written here, but that's not important. The important thing is that I didn't leave that court in shackles. I was freed. And that's what enabled me to release the person. I wrote him a note, saying that I released him, and that I hoped that he would be successful and one day even forgive himself for what he did to me, and possibly others.
Quote:
Shakti and others talk a lot about writing affirmations and then when resistance comes up, writing that. Then responding with another affirmation, etc.
In any case, whether you use any of the above specific techniques, journaling can be very helpful. In your own private journal, you can express yourself in any way you want.
Yo can feel free to express anger, fear, resentment etc.
I would still follow up with affirmations such as "I deserve the best in my life and I feel (or see) love coming to me now". Or "I am a person who gives and deserves love". Etc.
Be creative and play with it.
I would also try some deep breathing techniques and visualize yourself as being whole and centered. A few minutes of this every day can help you until you get to meet with your therapist.
I hope this helps and I wish you healing energy. May it be so now.
Thank you for your suggestions. They are all very helpful.
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Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 10
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 10 |
Quote:
When something shifts it makes room for change. Sometimes it isn't as we expect following the complacent norm to make a slow shift..
Be careful not to make that your entire focus. No you didn't deserve the abuse, no one does. You've left a clue where you could have have been deserving yet haven't had the success you wanted because it's hinged on that.. Quote:
"Success is the best revenge" -- but I don't consider myself very successful in the aftermath.
There is a powerful co-relation there. Hence the probable release of anger.
Yes, that did strike a nerve with me when I first read your post earlier today. I think you are right.
Quote:
I'd give the Paraliminal a day or two rest and then use it again. Because you do deserve the success and no one has the right to tell you that you don't deserve it. It seem like there has been thinking .. if you deserve abuse you don't deserve success that has been a lie and that realisation that it is a lie is the out pouring of emotions.
Last night I didn't listen to the Paraliminal, and I woke up feeling a little less angry. I suppose I'm frustrated now that I believed that lie for so long. My life could have been very different by now...but I know thinking like that doesn't help.
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Be kind to yourself. The Paraliminal opened up a truth and I suggest using Self-Esteem Supercharger right now.
I don't own Self-Esteem Supercharger yet, but I will buy it as soon as I can financially afford to do so, which is in a couple of weeks.
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Joined: Sep 2007
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Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 10 |
Quote:
The other suggestion is to try your hand at poetry.
I've written poetry about this before. I can't find a certain poem I'm thinking about, though. If I ever do, I'll post it here.
Listening to some sad music helps, but only in small amounts.
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