Marianne,
What qigong does is help the qi or energy flow better. Like many kinds of blockages in nature or in technology, sometimes this unblocking process takes time. Depending on the nature of the blockage, how long it has already been there, what led to it in the first place, how attached some part of us might be to it, etc, that time frame will vary from person to person and from situation to situation.
Having said that, I say this:
1) It is working! You may not be aware of it, but then change the wording to "I know it is working, but I am not yet aware of it"
Even things like cancer and stones in the body are forms of energy. Qigong has had much success with thousands of people helping them move these energy blockages out and back into the universe. I have seen it and I know many people it has helped.
If things that we think of as "solid" (an illusion even there, as science tells us that so called "solid" material objects are mostly empty space and as Einstein showed, all matter are forms of energy) can be transformed and moved out of the body and into the universe, how much the more so, things like "depression" and "anxiety".
I say things, but as gallen pointed out, these are just names. They are also forms or manifestations of energy. As someone who has also suffered from anxiety, I know---at least for me---this is almost obvious even when I am suffering from it, that this is energy. It feels like energy stuck or irritating somewhere in me.
Sometimes, it can take me hours or even days (and in the case of my migraines, MONTHS) to move the energy blockage. I am still a beginner in this way (we are all beginners in one way or another. This is one of my ways). But then again, how long has the blockage been there? Although it might take days, weeks, months to clear, in many cases, the blockage has been there for
YEARS! So if it takes me months to clear a blockage that has been there for years, I count myself fortunate!
2) One way I sometimes can tell that IT IS INDEED
WORKING is among other interesting phenomena, I sometimes, experience
discomfort/pain in my lower back (or elsewhere. And sometimes it is in my "lover" back!
) and also I find myself
having to go to the toilet more often.
Do these sound familiar to you?
Look, energy has to go somewhere. And while many people may just experience it as the smoke or air or golden butterflies leaving the body, the plain and simple truth (but maybe embarassing fact in our culture), is when energy changes form and leaves the body, it fortunately or unforunately, depending on how you want to look at it, often changes into waste products and/or pain in other parts of the body. Most expecially the former. So, gas, sweat, urine, feces, etc, is energy being transformed and moved out of the body. Which is exactly what you want!
While it would be nice to just have it disappear with no traces, that is a very high level and we often have to go through the normal processes of throwing off the energy through the bodily processes. This is the body working! I.e. It IS working on the blockage.
Now keep in mind that a) these are only some of the signs that energy is moving and b) everyone is different so some people have very different ones,some people have no obvious sign right away or even ever (or at least signs that they notice) and b) that just because these are the signs or healing reactions that I get does not mean that is what they are for you. But is certainly possible and from my experience even likely.
But when in doubt, check it out. That is part of what health care professionals are for!
But I would go with "hmm, I guess it IS working after all, just not finished yet, only just beginning" if I were you. That's just me.
3) As for the stress from the active exercise, you might want to play a little bit with how you do it. Are you doing the entire set of 8 exercises every time? Maybe just stay with one or two for the entire practice time. Sometimes that can be more meditative. Or conversely, if you are only doing part, try doing the entire set.
Are you doing it standing? If you are experiencing lower back pain, maybe you need to rest more. Maybe try it either sitting down or lying down (I have done this when I am feeling lower back or knee pain and many people in my practice group do it sitting down almost every time they practice. One guy has to: he is in a wheel chair. He is still reporting excellent results from his practice!). Or visa versa.
And/or if Small Universe calms you down, maybe experiment once or twice with doing it first and
THEN active exercise. Or make what I call a "Small Universe Sandwich"! I.e. begin with some SU, do some active exercise, then end with SU.
But even more obvious, is that if the Small Universe calms you and you want to stay it in longer, then do so! Either take more time for Small Universe (if you are doing a half hour, try doing 35 or 40 minutes. Eventually work up to an hour) in addition to the time you are already doing your entire morning set, AND/OR try doing a little less active exercise and adding on more Small Universe (so, just for example, if you are doing the entire 45-1 hour active set, take out 15 minutes of active and add on 15 minutes of Small Universe.
Play with it. Think of it as play. I know this can seem difficult when in the midst of anxiety, but it is very possible and become easier the more you play (as with any form of play: music, games, sports, art etc)
You are making progress, you are moving energy and it is working! Although it may be a challenge, be patient. IF you now know that the SU meditation calms you, that is GREAT progress! Some people, it takes years before they either know that or experience it. The move from experience effects from meditation to incorporating it into daily life and routine, is often a longer step and can take more time. But with practice, it does and will occur. Give yourself goals and give yourself a break! You are doing wonderfully well.
Change the message you give to yourself from "it isn't yet working" to "it IS working, just needs
more work!"
Also change the message from "
MY anxiety" to "energy blockage" or at least just anxiety (not "
yours"! It is energy and it belongs to the universe. Let go of it as a possession. I know it sounds like a subtle point, but it is a vital one!).
Although SFQ does not work like drugs (including without some of the more lasting side effects of drugs), it does work and is working. Drugs often only work on the symptoms. Qigong works on the entire system all the way down (or up, depending on how you look at it) to to deep blockages in the body/mind/emotion/spirit, including those that may have been there a lifetime or lifetimes.
Because it is often much more subtle than drugs, it can take time, even months in some cases, before the effect is as noticable as you want. But the difference is that many times, it is a permament change, or at least, once you make the radical change, you can then get to where you want with much LESS time.
For example, when I first really went at the migraines, with SFQ, I was doing 4-7 hour stretches! Remember, I am not suggesting this for you or anyone, just giving an example (although it can sometimes help some people depending on their blockages).
Once I had my breakthrough, it began working much faster even if had an onset of the migraines. First, I could work it out in an hour or less. Then in five minutes of either an active exercise or much better, small universe (even while just standing waiting for someone or something or while parked in my car).
Now, the migraines are gone. I experience what used to be the "pre-migraine" as merely flows of energy moving in my body.
I hope this helps you. Thanks for asking about it. The process of writing this helps me!
