Poles Apart or The Unity of Opposites
This technique is something I stumbled across a couple of years ago while working at the whiteboard after listening to an Alan Watts tape. It left me with a profound sense of peace and unity. Things that seemed to be problems weren't anymore and that was okay.
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Background
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Anytime you have opposites there is an implied connection between them. We often don't recognize it. The opposites arise mutually like yang and yin, light and dark, sound and silence. In the natural world you can think of magnets. There is no south pole without a north pole.
Opposites need something in common otherwise they would not be opposite. Model the connection as a continuum. Once you get the connection then it is easy to see how there are potential benefits in the emotion you previously judged was negative. The opposite of the negative also has consequences.
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The Process
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Make a table with 5 columns.
Step 1 - in column 2, list a negative emotion or feeling. You can list all of the negative emotions at the same time or you can go line by line. Do steps 2 - 5 for each line.
Step 2 - in column 4, list the negative emotion's opposite. This is not necessarily a positive emotion but usually is.
Step 3 - in column 3, decide what connects the two. Alternately you could ask what has to be true for these two to be connected
Step 4 - in column 1, figure out what the potential benefit (positive intent or outcome) would be for the "negative" emotion
Step 5 - in column 5, list a consequence of the opposite of the negative emotion
Step 6 (optional) - write truths and beliefs revealed
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Example
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Here is something I did a few days ago. I reformatted things for ASCII text and no tables. It'll serve as an example.
Negative (step 1) constrained
Opposite (step 2) unfettered
Connection (step 3) how spread out you are
Benefit (step 4) not spread too thin
Consequence (step 5) ambiguity
Negative (step 1) held back
Opposite (step 2) propelled forward
Connection (step 3) direction of incoming energy
Benefit (step 4) ensure success
Consequence (step 5) leave stuff behind
Negative (step 1) cluttered
Opposite (step 2) orderly
Connection (step 3) where things are stored
Benefit (step 4) save short term energy
Consequence (step 5) takes short term energy
Negative (step 1) impatient
Opposite (step 2) patient
Connection (step 3) preconceived temporal sequence overlayed on reality
Benefit (step 4) move things along
Consequence (step 5) not be in a hurry
Negative (step 1) loneliness
Opposite (step 2) belonging
Connection (step 3) connection with outside world
Benefit (step 4) self awareness
Consequence (step 5) no individual self
Negative (step 1) unfulfilled
Opposite (step 2) satisfied
Connection (step 3) evaluation of activities against preconceived
Benefit (step 4) to push me on
Consequence (step 5) little motion
6) Conclusion or Beliefs
In order to accomplish anything energy must be acquired, channeled, and focused.
All evaluations (judgement) is against self-derived criteria.
The only way to have an individual identity is if you partition "it" from the whole.
