Forums IMPORTANT: PLEASE READ Beyond Human Personal Developement Effectiveness

Currently I am working with a client assessing various personal development programmes (PDP’s) for use with their organisation. Different people are switched on by different packages and approaches. I have been exposed and immersed in many over the last 20 years from the Pacific Institute, Napoleon Hill, Tony Robbins to Bandler, NLP, SFQ, LSC Sedona, Holosync, etc.

We are currently devising a list of characteristics to differentiate the person who benefits from these products from those who find they don't work for them. These views come from those currently progressing through PDP events or those who have experienced success from events or programmes in the past. I intend to compile a 'LEARNING PROCESS' which others can use to see where they can benefit most from such programmes and where they are at risk for the process not working for them.

Ostensibly, we are agreeing that all products work for someone – it is just the approach that people take towards enabling or allowing them to work.

The purpose of the exercise is to 'model' achievers of such PDP or processes and then use this information to help others who don't find the journey so easy.

I thought it might be interesting input to share that information on this forum and seek further input from contributors.

We have found so far that the characteristics that differentiate those who gain the most from PD programmes include.........those who........

DESIRE passionately to change - not just WANT to significantly shift their life circumstances.

Are self motivated and tend to be ‘towards’ rather than 'away from' motivators

Take 100% responsibility for their progress – they say “it is down to me to take or make things happen” - they display a no excuses mentality.

Are BOLD in taking steps and build on the confidence they gain. We have found that those who lack confidence - achieve it quickly and intensely when they set small achievable goals. Even if people display only a modicum or a tiny bit of confidence this can build into an intense belief system. We have further found that this is the case with those who have a close support system or a mentor or coach. From this we gather that with whom we associate and share our dreams is central to effectiveness of PDP’s. Interestingly, we can devise the best process or package in the world but if we lack psychological support from others the process, however good, may not have the impact that it could with tutoring.

Share their success and seek feedback from others - i.e. self disclose and soliciting feedback from others in their circle of influence or support.

Follow the instructions with a programme, set goals and adhere to or create a 'stickability' to the process. They will not waive from the process. They do not give up. If they need to revise the programme to suit their personality they will do so.

Focus on implementing and making the changes happen rather than rationalising why they might not.

A belief that the PD process will make a difference to their lives.

Set tangible and stretching goals at the same time.

Want to share their gains with others. The Covey view that once one has maintained mastery in any area of one’s life - one has a social responsibility to teach it to others - as many as possible.

Most important of all have a FLEXIBILITY of mind to know when something is working and when it is not. They have the FLEXIBILITY to know and act on the difference.

……….Further, working on characteristics may support us in making PDP’s work for us. I would be interested in input from others and will include it in an article we are writing.

Thanks for your time.

Nothing better than trying to eat an elephant all in one bite.

This reminds me of some stuff I read on Milton Erickson.

He said that some people are born losers. They just cannot be helped. They cannot learn, or they won't. Either way, the result is the same.

As I read this I became distressed. Could it be, I thought, that in some areas there is no hope for me? Have I not succeeded in certain areas my whole life because (at least in some sense) I am a born loser?

The person Erickson was talking to seemed to share a similar concern. It is shocking to hear something like this from Erickson, who gave so many supposedly hopeless cases a real chance to get better. He asked something along the lines of "surely, you cannot believe that for these people there is absolutely NO hope?!"

Erickson replied with a story about a hardened criminal who was in and out of jail his whole life. While in jail, he would be violent so he could be put in solitary, which he seemed to like better than being with other inmates.

During one of his periods out of jail, it looked like he was going to do something that would put him back in, but as he sat on a bench he noticed an attractive woman walking on her way back from the store. He watched her do this on several occasions. I think she was a widowed woman who was very strong, respected, and taking care of her own life and that of her child.

One day, when she was walking back from the store. He stood in her path and wouldn't move. They looked at each other for some time. The man finally said, "Would you have dinner with me?" She looked him in the eye and said, "If you will be a gentleman, yes."

He agreed. He was a gentleman from that point on. He never went back to jail. The two got married and the man eventually took a job educating juveniles.

"Now," Milton Erickson said, "that hopeless case changed. But who could possibly know that it would take a beautiful woman who caught his eye saying, 'if you will be a gentleman, yes' to change him? Who could possibly know that?"

I think, Philip, you're facing a similar problem here. Some things aren't so simple.

Philip,

Change "Personal Development Programmes" to taking responsibility and leadership for own growth.

I disagree with a system of total submission to someone else's leadership over my own growth. I refuse to submit to someone else's ideas of what is good for me. If a subliminal programme is making me feel bad I will stop using it. If the author suggests a certain method and I disagree with it, I see nothing wrong with doing something else if I think it will make a greater improvement or sometimes even a smaller step that I can cope with.

I do everything you have listed in your list of requirements, but not for PDPs. I refuse to engage in those requirements with another person's leadership over my growth process. In other words you could change PDPs to my own personal growth process, with my leadership. I refuse to intergrate those characteristics for the sake of someone else's plan for my life, BUT they are very worthy characteristics to intergrate if they are for one's own sake. "Stickability" to someone else's plan shows a lack of self-leadership and maturity to use one's own mind. Following a PDP system totally often means denying using your own mind and you can end up far from where you wanted to go.

Although one of the characteristics is:

"If they need to revise the programme to suit their personality they will do so."

I feel that you haven't put enough emphasis on the the fact that a person with initiative wouldn't follow all the requirements you've listed for the sake of somebody else's plans for their lives.

I think what you are suggesting is a cult-like adherence to somebody else's plans. I always take what I can use and leave the rest. I don't honour the maker of the programme more than I honour myself. There is a fine line to be drawn here about who has the leadership, and I think the line is deceptively blurred.

I have printed your post and will file it because it is very valuable to know those characteristics in terms of my own growth process but not for the sake of PDPs. You almost had me taken, but not quite.