Hello again,
I'm sorry to hear that you are going through so much at the moment. Perhaps it might be worth trying the EFT again as levitateme is suggesting. I have been using EFT recently in relation to work anxiety. Funnily enough when I was tapping away about an anger issue, the feelings transformed into deep sadness and then into a kind of shame. My dad died of cancer when I was very young - but for some reason I have been holding onto a sense of shame and guilt about his death. The EFT is really helping with that (the feeling is lessening, but it usually arises behind another feeling which comes up first in relation to something completely different).
Although in my first e-mail I focused very much on practical back-strengthening advice, I think that Alex's advice is very strong. The more you work with your emotions, the greater the physical release.
If Spring Forest Qi Gong doesn't call you, perhaps you might want to try Reiki? I am a Reiki Master and often find that the Reiki helps release emotional blocks as well as their related physical symptoms. If you were even to get a Level 1 attunement it would help you a great deal - it's such a simple and loving approach to healing. Do you know of anyone in your area who could even give you a treatment?
Another possibility might be to try going to a hypnotherapist. When my mother was close to dying with septicemia a number of years ago, I found that the self-hypnosis techniques I was taught by the hynotherapist really helped me with the fear and guilt at not being able to do anything about the situation. I still use the tapes even now.
Whatever you do, make sure to be gentle with yourself and allow whatever feelings that are coming up at the moment to run their course. As Alex says, it is important for your health and wellbeing to be able to gradually release both the anger and the grief, even if you need to use quite different techniques in dealing with each of them.
I send you much love and healing.
best wishes
Ingrid :0)
