I was pretty gifted as a child. Now I am much older and I am paying the penalty for not having to work so hard on problems.
- got lazy, I suppose -
I was always in opposition with the authorities too; got extra bad if they tried to gag me 
I suppose I have refused to be brainwashed by the schoolsystem; and fighting it. I seem to be without the ability to just produce what they want, so I can finish my degree and go on with my life.
- emotionally I think I feel I am selling out if I do, but I want to finish too - I guess I am in a catch 22.
.. gotta do something about that...