Most of what you said, i was already aware of, but one important concept which was triggered by your response was that we already posess everything. I never fully accepted(on a subconscious level) that principle untill you linked it with the photons. I have already made a vast improvement in my situation, and the advice i am continually getting on these forums is helping me realize on an larger scale what the real problem is. I have decided to start a project, i am calling it project societal solitude, i will not talk to anyone outside my immediate family, use AIM, E-mail, or forums. Attend lectures but stay quiet and reserved, take exams only for physics and calc, i am going to get a job but one where i can easily ignore others. All this for four months, and i have a huge agenda namely, IS for 40+ hours, speed read at 9k, learn the whole mind system as well, work my way up from 20 push ups to 50+, improve my track speed to 7 min per mile (at 14 now), 300 hindu squats (www.mattfurey.com), and finish 2 or more math courses on my own(for exemption). This is something i wanted to do ever since i had my "crush" on her, but i knew i would lose any chance i had if i did this, but now i am more mature, happy, and focussed on my priorities. So starting this March Operation Societal Solitude is ON!
p.s.- interestingly enough, she sent me a picture of her yesterday, she looks much much different. That was the physical trigger that allowed me to realize that my pain is imaginary, created only to sustain my ego.
