ahhh! i have to write all over again.....lol
my reply got deleted
Tool (cool band btw), its wonderful that u posted!
what u are going through is real and does not mean a weakness of character or anything.
the type of ocd u may have ( if u have it) is called "pure obsessional". this type is hard to diagnose as most relate ocd with overt actions ie cleaning, washing etc.
Id like to recommend a few books:
"the imp of the mind" - probably most related to what u are going through.
"Brain Lock"
"stop obsessing"
also, a good website -http://www.ocdonline.com/faq.htm - might be seem like too much info , just give it a look. I wouldnt mind suggesting more things, if u ever want to exchange emails.
i think u might have an advantage when it comes to learning Photoreading. 
u seem bright and most people who experience this are very intelligent.
I wish u the best
Good luck!
