ShaneX,
Lots of good stuff there.
There have been times in my life when I too have suffered from "intrusive thoughts," and I think you are right on the money. One of the best feelings comes from when you really consider the thought ... "You mean I can USE this stuff to my advantage?"
A lot of these intrusive thoughts are really just superpowered thought ... just going in a direction that is very unpleasant to experience.
I'm reminded here of Nikola Tesla and the story about his childhood. When he was a kid he had these very powerful thoughts that were as real as what was around him. Instead of trying to negate them or rationalize them away (ie- "They are just thoughts ..." words which would serve to make the clear thoughts vague or what have you), he started exploring aspects of them. I remember reading about a time he remembered a corpse from a funeral. Instead of blocking the whole thing out, he looked around the room for something more pleasing to look at in this mental experience and noticed some flowers ... this mental activity is probably the foundation of his amazing imagination, and I think it's something we're all born with.
Tool, I wish you luck. I know it sucks to have these things happen to you. But, I really think there is something to the statement that this is not necessarily something to get rid of, but something to work with.
I don't know about the finding out why thing too much. It might prove useful ... but who knows how and why some things get wired? Sometimes mental events are not the result of something willed or intended on some level as occurs as a result of conscious thought.
I think the fixation with "why" comes from a conception that on every level of mind the functioning is essentially the same as the conscious mind. That is, my conscious mind acts in this fashion, so the other parts must too. This isn't necessarily the case. Some things are not intended as such, but just get wired together.
We can reason out the "why" of things a lot, but this is the activity of the conscious mind making information palatable to itself. It is not necessarily an accurate description of the mechanics at work behind certain mental and/or physiological phenomena.
[This message has been edited by babayada (edited February 14, 2004).]