Smartfish,
Have you tried behavioral approaches to the issue? Behavioral psychology has had a reputation for being kind of anti-human, but I know of some practitioners that a very humane in their view and approach, and it really can work wonders with a variety of conditions.
It looks like the fear itself may be a (or the) major issue with the thoughts, and I think there are behavioral desensitization approaches that can help you with that.
There's also ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy), that works with a variety of fear related problems.
You might see dramatic changes within a month or so of therapy.
