I used to go out with a stripper who was *very* good at manipulating men ... sexually and otherwise.
It was very strange to have a relationship with a woman with whom I could feel safe being affected in ways I would not otherwise want to be affected. That is, people manipulate, often, to get something out of you. Take something from you. My feeling about our relationship that she did so to share. Relationships with people with a great deal of unconscious competence in this area can be extremely hot.
We broke up, and breaking up with her was extremely difficult (that is, getting to the point where I said no). But once it was over, it was over. It was a bit of relief, because the relationship was one hell of an exciting roller coaster ... but a roller coaster none-the-less. You can only go up and down so much before you want to get off the damn thing.
If often feels that people and situations have power over us when they really don't. It really isn't about the power, it's about what we want and what we're willing to put up with in order to get it. A lot of times it's also about fooling ourselves into thinking we're getting or going to get something we're not. And that foolishness, I think, has a great deal to do with the satisfaction of certain desires (to feel certain ways about oneself, to have certain beliefs satisfied and validated). These certain desires can find their satisfaction more adequately, fully, and lastingly in a variety of ways that are by no means troublesome.
So, basically, Grant, this chic didn't really have power over you at all. Having "power" to "control yourself" is really only the process of getting clear about what you want, what you don't want, and being sober, perceiving the world within and around you with a great deal of accuracy.
