Forums IMPORTANT: PLEASE READ Beyond Human What's wrong with me and how do I fix it?

High? Like a natural high? No, I don't get those anymore.

OK then that's probably not it then. The runners type natural high is caused by endorphins, they have a theory that Autism is caused by too much of beta endorphins. If that is correct then autismic type behaviour you described could be trigger by an excess of feel good endorphins.

Thought about keeping a journal?

Alex

Have you thought of the possibility that the problem might be neurological in nature? Have you seen a neurologist?

There are many ways to go about working on this. You can listen to tapes like paraliminals, go through home study courses, use NLP, hypnosis, or the Silva Method on yourself, or find a good hypnotist or NLP practitioner. Kevin Hogan is in Eagan, MN, and has a good reputaion in dealing with chronic illness. I don't know how far that is from you.

Howver, before any of that, I HIGHLY recommend that you see a medical doctor to at least rule out any physical problems. It would probably be best to find one that believe that things Fibromyalgia/CFS really exists and that also would recommend supplements and complementary medicine, not that I'm saying that is what I think you have, but that a doctor like that would be more open-minded and probably pay more attention to your symptoms, whatever they are. Like another poster said, food allergies also cause lots of problems and not many doctors test for allergies that cause chronic problems.

Ruling out a physical cause is very important before doing any complementary therapy. Even if there is a physical cause hypnosis and similar therapies can greatly enhance healing when working with conventional medical practitioners.

Here is an example from my own experience, at least I was partially involved in this case. I was working on a case (in my medical office job, not as a hypnotist) a few years ago of a man who had severe back pain for 8 years or so IIRC and regularly saw a chiropractor but not a doctor. He was rushed to the emergency room one day and it was found that the pain was due to metastatic bone cancer. There was really nothing that could be done at that point. Had he gone to a doctor and been tested maybe it could have been stopped in time. Maybe not. For him it was too late to find out.

I'm not against complementary therapy. If I was I wouldn't have become a hypnotist. What I am saying is that we have the most advanced medical technology available anywhere at any time up until now and we also have a vast array of complementary therapies avialable. It only makes sense to use any advantage you can.

Spiritual overdrive?

I used to have something similar. I live in a fog. My empathy was still there but I had no way of knowing what was true for me or not. I was constantly playing with my mind in an unhealthy way. I was off to spiritual wonderland and never took time to land. If you are like me - ditch all the spiritual/psychological litterature, reading such webpages, dooing spiritual matters. Just for the time beeing. And get down in your body! If it's as uncooperative as you say - that's a pretty strong signal. My ticket to balance was a heavy education in natural sciences which made me focus only on that. I had no time to be in my mind all the time. Thank all the gods for that.

Dig with a showel, swim, walk in the woods, smell the flowers and all the stuff that's only for the body. Leave your mind at home for some time.

That worked wonders for me. Perhaps it's something for you.

Tore

Hi Matt
First thing's first I agree with every one else about going to see, a doctor, it’s important to go and get to the bottom, of this problem. whether it‘s, a mental/emotional or a neurological issue.

You need to get this done. and today is the best day to do this.

Now I got that out of the way.

A few simple questions. How would you like to feel instead?

Can you remember what you was like before all this started to happen?

Could you just for a few seconds put both feet on the floor, and remember a nice time back before all this started?

What has been your best past memory?

How good and balanced could you be?

Just for the hell of it, if you woke tomorrow and every thing, was back to normal, How would that be?

How much better would you, like it to be?

What’s the time now?
Can you feel your body against the chair etc?

Can you see and feel the keyboard? And can you remember how this feels right now?

If it was ten years ago, and at a good point in time, how good was it then?

If you could feel that good now, how good would you like to feel now?

If you pay attention to the now, you will be able to what?

What would you like to have a better sense off?

And if you had this new better sense of self how would that feel, hear and sound.

This is just a few ways about thinking.

Just a few ideas, that’s all.

[This message has been edited by Matrixman (edited March 25, 2004).]

More than just idea Matrixman, but good on ya.

You are perfection.
Iam2

First off, I've met with medical doctors before. All they want to do is prescribe numerous anti-depressants, which I did use for a month. Also, I suppose I should tell you how I first got this disorder, since it might help narrow things down a little.

A little over 2 years ago I had gotten in a fight with my dad over some stupid junk about my brother. There was something wrong with my dad, he wasn't a bad guy, but he loved treating my brother like a prince when the guy [my brother] was a complete jackass to everyone (even my dad). Whenever I tried confronting him [my father] about this, though, he would act completely clueless: "What are you talking about?" "I treat both of you the same.” It drove me crazy, was he really clueless, or was he just lying? Anyway, back to the story.

One night after another fiasco of my brother acting like a total prick and my dad defending him, I got in a huge fight with my father (no fists were thrown) and ended up getting kicked out of the house. The whole thing just drove me crazy. There was no solution for this, no reason why it should’ve happened, the whole thing just didn’t make sense. I was so mad because of it, but the anger I felt was different than any anger I had felt before. I couldn’t let it out [the anger], and so it stayed inside me, plaguing my thoughts, clouding my feelings and intuition. The next day I felt... different. The anger had died down, but all those things it had taken from me we’re still gone.

Anyway, I don’t want to get into too much detail so a week later after I had moved into my mother’s I met with my dad once again and we hugged and became cool again. It was at that exact moment that all those feelings of love and control all came flowing back into me. I was me again, and I didn’t want it any other way. Things continued to stay this way until a week or two later when my family and I went over to my Aunt’s house to meet up with other family members and enjoy the Christmas holiday. I was having a perfectly good time until my cousin decided to follow my brother’s lead and ruin my time by being a complete jerk. What my cousin had said wasn’t even that offensive, in fact, I can’t even remember what it was, but for some reason it bugged the hell out of me. I began feeling the similar to when I had got into that fight with Dad from earlier. I began to shake, and I couldn’t pay attention. I kept asking myself why I was so angry; I had heard far worse insult in my time so why on Earth was this bugging me so much? My anger stayed with me and I continued to lose more and more control over who I was. The next day I was dead again, forced to live the next two years as a shadow of my former self.

Now flashback to the point where I said I had regained everything I lost after making up with my father. The only thing that keeps me going is the thought that one day the same thing will happen to me and everything I lost will just magically return. I just need to know though, where are these things I lost? Why did they return and why did they leave? How do I get them back?

Okay, I think I’ve written enough. Matrixman, I’ll get to your questions in a couple of minutes.

Okay here are the words from the wondering mind. They didn't go anywhere. They are right there inside you and you are choosing not to experience them.

My take is you have to connect with your dad. It's not really your brother. You have an unsatisfied relationship with your father. A lot of the advice above can be applied to what your problem. However, I say don't work on it alone. Share everything that you've shared here with your father, and a lot more. He is the universe. He is your mirror. He will give you what you need to become whole. I don't know your father. I'm not even saying that you'll get the relationship you want. You may not awaken him to the injustices you see. You can't change him. You can be courageous and be totally open with him.

Talk to him about creating a special place and time for you to share. Impart the importance of this to you. Then share.

Later, reflect on what is being done.

I don't know if you do any other meditation, beside SFQ, but try this. Go into the emptiness, do the even breathing (make it regular not lower abdominal, unless you do that automatically now), don't call on your master, don't say the password, don't dwell on energy. Go into the emptiness. Think of your goal / problem / question for the meditation. Connect with it's importance to you. Then release it and go into the emptiness. Then let your thoughts come and go as they will. Don't judge any of them. If you feel your should leave a train of thoughts and go into the emptiness or connect with your feelings do it. There is no good or bad, no right or wrong. Just follow. At some point you may say "Hey that relates to my problem". Think on what guidance you've recieved.

Gee, I didn't mean to ramble.

Whatever path you choose, understand it is the right path for you. Somethings that appear bad are actually the best, since they are just the things you need for later in your life.

You are perfection.
Iam2

Hmmm. Seems to me the solution to the problem with your dad might have nothing to do with your dad at all.

You got me thinking about the double-bind and schizophrenia. A damned if you do, damned if you don't kind of scenario.

I have had situations with my parents where everything seemed impossible and the way they were acting was totally crazy and made me feel totally crazy. Most people, I think, rely a lot on their parents for validation and a sense of identity. Sometimes this relationship just doesn't work, and we end up going a little nuts. Or a lot nuts as the case may be.

While saying that connecting with your father is the important thing is well intentioned, I think it might just be adding fuel to the fire. What it might do is actually strengthen the pendulum swing in the good direction, only to have it smash harder in the wrong one.

The important thing to notice here is what you are seeking from your father, what the situation is having you identify yourself with and as. When he treats me like x, I am y. When he treats me like a, I am b ... and I can only be either y or b. They are mutually exclusive.

There are some ways around this.

One is exploring your sense of self and feeling how you identify with each state ... allowing yourself to do so. Then explore being both at the same time. That is, the two states are not mutually exclusive. What this means is that you are more than just one thing or another and you are more than both combined. This is how you have been described and been describing yourself on a deep level.

Another thing is to notice and sponsor your identity above, beyond, and outisde of your relationship with your family.

A person came to Milton Erickson with certain very strange issues. He misspelled words in a peculiar fashion, for one, and couldn't stop. Words were spelled correctly, but every 3rd and 4th (if I recall correctly) letter were reversed. He was the son of a domineering middle-eastern father who had some very harsh views about men and women. The guy had 2 or more sisters ... and his father was very hard on him. His place in the family in terms of his manhood and relationships with his sisters was totally screwed up.

The cure was that Milton told him since he was born in America that he was an American and his father could do nothing about that fact. As an American he had a certain heritage and certain rights. Americans looked at issues of manhood and womanhood and family life differently. He had the guy identify as an American, which gave him a way out above and beyond his family issues. The guy encouraged his sisters to see Milton. Nothing really could be done for the father, as he was set in his ways, but there was definitely hope for the children.

As with most Milton stories, the guy lived happily ever after ... getting married, getting a good job, having kids, and sending Milton presents.

The point is, you are more than a son of a father. You are more than a brother or cousin. And you are more than any of these relations signify.

Good luck in finding communities and relationships where you can find room to live, breathe, feel, and relate inside of this truth.