Forums IMPORTANT: PLEASE READ Beyond Human What's wrong with me and how do I fix it?

Great post again Babayada.

I know the problem of my previous post. I almost deleted it. However, I now follow my first instinct more than I used to. And since, that was the first message I felt I had to communicate I did.

My normal council is more along your post. Maybe more so. One of finding nurturing within oneself, by discouvering a better serving perspective.

Things, like no-one makes you have or mad. You chose those emotions when you are in certain situations. You can chose to chose otherwise.

I did fear that my post was directing Nacho to disappointment and pain, but I stayed with it. Since my intention was good, I put my trust in it. It may not be the right course for Nacho. If may be that only hearing the words (reading them) is was will help.

More trying to help from the heart than the head. Not, that I'm judging your comments, especially since they echo my own thoughts.

Wihing you well Nacho. Consider the circle on Saturday.

You are perfection.
Iam2

Hehe, yea except problem is I've already shared all my experiences with my father. He's not at all a bad guy, and I'm sorry if I lead you to think that. The only thing he's ever done to tick me off so much is not realize how much of a d!%k my brother is. But ya' know, I've confronted my dad about that too, and he still has no idea what I'm talking about... My guess is that it might've even been a subconscious thing. At any rate though, I've already done much more than what Iam2 has asked, and still have not changed in the least (I also am living with my father currently). So maybe, MAYBE there could be something about my problem that stems from problems with my dad, but I'm not sure how likely that could be. Is it all possible that my feelings and whatnot leaving me had nothing to do with my dad and instead left because of how mad I got (like scared to come back or something)?

[This message has been edited by Nacho (edited March 26, 2004).]

Some considerations for you:
1. Our world is heavily polluted with toxicity in a thousand forms. At the bookstore, get a copy of CLEAR BODY, CLEAR MIND (By Hubbard).
2. Consider the suggestion of one of your Reply letters to check your physical health for deficiencies of minerals, etc,
or other blockages.
3. Put more serious attention into your QiGong daily practice. Spend extra effort practicing the breathing.
4. Read DIANETICS (By Hubbard), and you'll understand why we humans don't rise up to our potentials. What's holding us back is the content of our Reactive Mind.

Good luck

#2 I've done, and #3 I will do, but #1 and #4 I'm not sure about. My brain just done not intake information like it use too. Doesn't matter if I'm watching it on TV or reading it on the internet, some of the most basic information there is will not stay in my head; if it even gets there, that is. Even stuff I'm really interested in my brain refuses digest and keep with me. At most, I fear, I will get the gist of what the authors are talking about and then slowly forget that.

[This message has been edited by Nacho (edited March 30, 2004).]

Matt,

Be careful what you say to yourself about yourself. What I see written there is some self limiting beliefs that have the annoying tendancy to become fact. At the same time I see evidence that what you said is not entirely true.

Obiously you can still think. May take you longer than you felt it used to but you're still doing it. You come back to this thread to talk the problem over. If your skills were really as poor as you say then you would not have bothered coming back. You are also diciplined enough to do SFQ on a daily basis. Therefore you have the discipline to carry through other things as well.

From what you've said so far your style of thinking has changed and in some ways you have distanced yourself from your thought emotionally based on a past experience. Fair enough. There are still some things you can try.

You could look for ways to use your skills, the way your mind works now and seek new horizons. Perhaps you can find a breakthrough in a skill like art, sculpturing, model making, bonsai.

You could also try belief modification. You pointed out that you have an area in your life that may have triggered the problem for you. Well the Belief paraliminal can help you modify the limitations of that belief. There are other techniques to. Like rebuilding your self confidence. See humour in it.

Letting go of the fact that your brother is a world class... and no one else wants to see it. It only makes you feel lousy like the guy who had dinner with the alien from the planet xenxue and they ate diuqs with storrac, snaeb, and nroc. You don't really care right? Really how important is it?

Sorry if this post seems to lack in clarity. I just came back from dealing with a Government department and am in awe (being extremely polite when I say that) of their supreme efficiency (actually it's brilliantly stupid) in tying another knot into their Gordian knot of red tape.

Anyway Matt, you might just have to start by changing your beliefs. Hang in there. There'll be more ideas coming I'm sure.

AlexK

Hopefully.

So what have you started experimenting with? One thing I haven't mentioned. Your style of thinking is a good one for PhotoReading. If you know how to do just the PhotoReading step I suggest you experiement with that on a stack of self help, self confidence, self esteem self motivation type books. You don't even have to activate or read any of them. You'll probably collect some great insights just from the photoreading step.

Since you've been to the doctors and the problem doesn't look like it's going to pack it's bags and move out in a hurry. One book I do suggest and you might even want to consider the course Resiliency. Survivor Personality by Al Siebert. He got together with Paul to create the Resiliency course. It's an excellent course to help you bounce back even if you have to hold on to the handicaps or problems that life has thrown at you and find ways to empower yourself to grow beyond the problems.

AlexK

I swear, if there is an answer to terrible problem of mine, it'll be a miracle if I find it.

If having this disorder wasn't bad enough, it feels like the solution - if their is a solution - is trying it's best to stay hidden from me. Almost like the universe is just taunting me, pushing me, trying to see just how much I can take before I snap and do something borderline to insanity.

Wow, what a crazy predicament I'm in.

Sorry Alex, I missed your last post. What exactly is the Photoreading Step?

The PhotoReading step is where you just look at the pages with a soft gaze and turn them about 1 every 2 seconds. You won't know what you just read but if you trust your mind it can take the information and process it in a way that is useful for you.

That way you're exposing your mind to possible solutions that you consciously may be overlooking.

AlexK