Forums IMPORTANT: PLEASE READ Genius Code I'm scared

i hope my response isn't too late for you to read.
it's been just over a month that you posted your original message.

first, i want to suggest that having someone non-judgmental to bounce
some of your fears off of is a good idea.
you may benefit greatly just knowing they are there to support you.
this could be a psychologist trained in dealing with "spititual emergencies", if you will.
a termed coined by stanislov grof.
jungian, cognitive therapists are wonderful in my opinion.

now, onto the subject of losing your mind.
you may very well be losing it,
but consider that it may only be your mind "as you know it".
OR, your "ideas" of what life is as you know it.
apparently they do not work anymore and it's time to dump them.

eight years ago i too was terrified i was on my way to "crazy".
in fact, i'd always had this fear tucked away, but close enough to send me
into a panic whenever i entertained that circling pack of thoughts for too long.
i had embarked on a path toward self awareness with great commitment and excitement,
but was coming up against old patterns, habits and beliefs, all very strong, very solidified.
frankly, a great part of me had no intention of giving those up.
if i let go of my neuroses, who would i be? my humor, my art was my tied into my neurotic self.
i remember confesing to my mother that i was deeply afraid of losing my mind.
her only reply was, "good"

the truth is, you must go within and trust that you will be okay.
you WILL be okay. you ARE okay. you have ALWAYS been okay.
actually, more than "okay".
the struggle you encounter arises from how hard you are trying to "hold on" to what you believe is Reality, your truth.
phrases like "get a grip" come to mind. you need to do the opposite. let go.
holding on makes you uptight, controlling, fearful.

let go.
if not completely, then little by little. yes, it is scary.
it can very, very uncomfortable, but ultimately your system will find its balance again and you will feel good.
you must trust your being and not allow your "mind" take over with all its thoughts.
THAT will drive you crazy and instill fear.
trust yourself and NOT your thoughts in this case.
i know that must sound weird, but i hope you get what i am saying here.
your note definitely shows how much you live in your head.
and that, my friend, is what is terrifying you.

things you can do to help you stop over-thinking and over-analyzing are:::
1) DIET
- are you eating properly?
- minimize or eliminate alcohol altogether during this time.
- decrease intake of processed foods/sugar.
your mood will even out nore if you eat less refined foods.
2) SLEEP
- you must rest-- very, very important.
if this means exercise more to get you tired, then do so.
3) MEDITATE
- i don't know what kind of meditation you do, but i would do one where you focus on your heart chakra and visualize yourself rooted to the earth through your feet along the length of your body and like a strong column in the center.
- if not, then do an activity you are familiar with that grounds you.
4) BE GOOD TO YOURSELF
- take walks, go to nature, a park, vist the ocean.
this activities calm you, especially when you are near water.
- and do not try to figure this out with your head.
5)DO NOT FOCUS on what is wrong, but FOCUS on what is RIGHT with you.

barring anything chemical going on with your system, you are moving forward, evolving, but your mind,
strong as it is, does not want to let go of the status quo.
know that you are changing, metamorphosing and ride the wave.
just remember, you will be okay.
again, if you can, try to get support from a non-traditional therapist at least during this time just in case you need to hear a human voice to provide a familiar hand.

i speak from my own experience and hope what i have written will be of help.

with kindness,
nushi