While in University, Alan Watts, Taoism, Zen, and all that really, really turned me on. I remember reading Alan Watts and feeling totally buzzed. He presented a totally new way of thinking, and thinking in that manner felt really good.
It's almost like philosophical crack.
I spent a long time reading up on it, thinking about it, doing various practices, meditating.
But now, looking back on all of it, I find that I was unquestioning about a lot of things. What exactly was this enlightenment I was seeking? What did I think it was going to do for me? And is that really desirable?
From my current point of view, enlightenment doesn't seem all that desirable. There are alternatives that help me meet my goals much better. Dealing with my life now, as is, and not seeking enlightenment or some other lofty goal, I am able to deal with more immediate concerns and find more pleasure in the moment. What I wanted from seeking comes more immediately from living in the world and finding, right in the present moment.
I've observed people, most notably my brother who suffers from brain-damage, and have learned a lot about lofty goals. My brother's condition reveals directly what most people hide. His arguments and confabulations are more transparent, but from observation and comparison I can see the same things that go on with him happen with everybody.
Typically, when he craves something and cannot fulfill his desire, his arguments go up, up, and up into lofty realms. The issue is not that he is craving some particular thing or other, it becomes an issue of freedom. Well, so much for freedom, because when his basic desire is fulfilled, discussions about freedom disappear.
It's my hypothesis that spiritual seekers have an itch or a complex of itches. These itches derive from basic needs that are going unfulfilled. When the seeker satisfies the itch (which is usually a base desire), the seeking stops.
I might be totally wrong about this. Most probably, this hypothesis is correct for some cases but not all. As an experiment, you might want to ask, "What if my spiritual needs are actually basic physical, psychological, or social needs? If so, what would they be?"
If you get answers to that question, go about fulfilling those needs and then see how you feel about your spiritual quest once they are satisfied. You might find that the immanent trumps the transcendental efficiently.
