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Hi weight39doug,
This is indirectly related to PR because it doesn't talk about PR. However, since success in PR (and 90% of life) is directly related to ones attitude, I feel this is an appropriate place to discuss negative self-talk.

You stated in a response to me in the Reading Genius topic that "One of my primary goals [for you] has been to eliminate self sabotage from my [your] life (not a positively stated goal that's a no-no in personal development circles)." This struck a chord with me as I have realized that this may be one of the primary difficulties in many of areas of my life.

This morning I formed a positive statement for negating my tendancy for negative self talk that I plan on using with the paraliminal tapes. Please let me know if you can think of any potential negative effects of the following statement (or if you have a better statement for me to use): For every negative though that I have about myself, I will have three positive thoughts.

Any input you, or anyone else, my have I would appreciate hearing it.

Thanks in advance,
Gregory

How about
I constantly enjoy having positive and happy thoughts.

I am enjoying having positive and uplifting thoughts.

I enjoy happy and uplifting thoughts through out my day.

My opinion on this is that alot of people associate pain with negativity. And this is the stumbling factor.

The problem with trying to override negativity with positive statements is that it doesn't eradicate the negativity. It still lingers there.

Negative self-talk, I think comes from a fear of failure. (I might be wrong, but hey I'm still young and inexperienced ok) That means you may have lots of goals, but you haven't started going out to really achieve them yet, because you're not sure if it will work, or you're bogged down in other things, etc.

To really address negative self-talk, you have to understand that fear of failure and change it into a learning experience. Just as Michael Jordan didn't make first year high school basketball or something like that, he didn't say "Damn, I'm not very good at basketball. I don't seem to have a natural talent for it, so I might as well not try."

Or when a toddler tries to walk. When he/she falls the first time, he/she doesn't say "Gee, I fell. That probably means I can't walk."

Failure shouldn't be taboo in your life. It should become an everyday enjoyable experience, that you can draw from, and use it to make more failures, and ultimately successes.

I can't remember where I got this quote from, but it sums it up.

Progression, not perfection is the key to success.

-Hope this helps-

Chris

Hi Chris,
I think you have a good point. Perhaps I am being too critical and judgemental of myself in the negative. Perhaps what I am doing is assigning negative feelings to an event when it is only an event that is a learning experience giving me feedback that something didn't work. I have some more thinking to do about some experiences.

Don't start second guessing yourself simply based on how young or old you may be. Some of the wisest things I have heard have come out of the mouths of babes before they were corrupted by the world and "adults" who "knew better". Your suggestions for me are sound and have reminded me of a path I had forgotten about somewhere along my journey of life.

Thank you,
Gregory

PS- I am still open to suggestions from others who may read this post and have other ideas. Thanks.

Gregory, Congratulations oh realising that you can be more positive in life!! Negativity doesn't just stem from a fear of faiure but also fear of success and change. This success may mean that you loose your 'friends' or move out of your comfort zone. For many people this prevents them from succeeding. Unfortunately negativity often is surrounded wirth pain because it is often easy to wallow in our own self pity!. Change is easy when your happy and everthing is going well, but when it is not going as you want it to it isn't always easy. But this is when being positive and striving for something can have the biggest impact on you life i.e. this is when you learn from your experiences, which doesn't often happen till after an event.

Your statment for recognising your negativity if fine, but what will you do afterwards? This is when you want to be as positive as possible. A statment that follows should be Personal ie i or my. Positive and Present time ie today or now. Personal because your taking charge for your situation! Timed because it means it is happening now. Positive, this will take you away from where you are now to where you want to go. To tell it is positive: make an image of each word, is each word positive or does the image conjure up some negativity, maybe even the thing that you don't want! If so change it to a positive image. With each sentence totally consume youself in it, let it envelop you. Use all senses! This will really have an impact each time you do it!

Here are some of the things that I have used to develop a positive attitude.

1. I have photoread tons of positively themed books in the bookstore. I didn't activate them I just used direct learning to have them impact my life.

2. I believe that the New Behavior Generator paraliminal tape is ideally suited for this. You determine a behavior that you want to exhibit and figure out what's stopping you and then listen to the tape.

3. I regularly use many of the products that are going to be in that Euphoria package that Learning Strategies is putting out. For example, I use the Sedona Method for releasing negative emotions (I have had good success with this but some people don't like the method much--hey everyone is an individual). I use holosync meditation tapes (by far the most powerful system I have ever encountered however it is expensive. But it is the most effective system for releasing limitations that I have ever found). I have also used the Silva Method, EFT, NLP, and tons of other tape programs in general. Everybody is an individual and different systems work better for different people.

I think direct learning combined with visualization would be extremely powerful. The subconscious mind does not know the difference between vivid imagination and reality. If you get into a relaxed state and continue to visualize exactly what it is that you want then that will become a part of your self-image (repetition is the key—do this everyday until the results that you seek start to occur. Also I recommend a relaxed stated so that your mind doesn’t start interfering say things like “Be realistic” or “I can’t do that”.). Once that new self-image sticks then your inner mind is going to fight like crazy to make it a reality. It works in the reverse for a habit. If a person has a self-image of being addicted to something then inner mind fights like crazy to retain that image (that's why will power rarely works--the behavior is conditioned in the subconscious mind. A person needs to first change that conditioning if they want to lose weight or stop smoking or whatever it is that a person wants to change). Change your conditioning and instantly your inner mind becomes an ally.

"No matter how thinly you cut it there are always two sides". Spinosa

In any situation we human beings find ourselves' there are always two ways to look at what's happening- good/bad points of view; pain/pleasure; pessimissm/optimism; the half full or half empty jug of water e.t.c.

The key is to have a view that will allow you to achieve your full potential.

1st you have to trust and have faith in yourself and ability irrespective of what other people may say. Be realistic with what you can achieve.

Next take the route that will uplift you. Remember you can't have one thing without the other but you can choose. You have a choice. Focus is the key. You can focus on the negative if you want to or focus on the positive. It's UP TO YOU.

Then take action and give what ever you do 100%.

No that you will have set-backs but deal with them when they happen and don't will them to happen.

Lastly remember there are no failures only feedbacks and learn from your mistakes.

Hope this helps

kay

I really have used the visualization that Paul has at the very end of the PhR home course. Tape 8b...at the end there.

It has works very consistently for me.

Personal Genius is also a great tape when you are very clear w/ the stated goal for listening.

I think 39's post is so worthwhile. May seem like a lot to do, but just doing one thing at a time helps. I also did alot of PhRing for stress w/ no activation other than visualizing. It worked...& is still working. I thought it might come back. It hasn't.

One of the few paraliminals i don't have is the negative talk one. There is one that is for negative internal talk.

I started using L. Hay's book: You Can Heal Your Life in 1995. Affirmations, when worded correctly, can make a difference. For me the difference was great. Stating goals clearly & affirming your abilities go a long way to personal self-esteem.

You know, it's amazing that you were able to pick up on you negative inner dialogue. That, in itself, is SUCCESS!

Thanks all for your suggestions and ideas. I will be able to use something from all of the posts in this topic.

If anyone has anyother ideas please post them.

Thanks again,
Gregory