Tim,
I had/have exactly the same issues. I would get so wrapped up in the process that I would lose touch with what I really wanted to do. It's like when I was first learning to drive.
Where I've made progress is in easing up on myself. Instead of driving myself like a drill instructor, I say, "OK, here is a book I want to PR. Here is something I'd like to get out of it. Let's see what happens." I don't deal well with people demanding things from me. A cooperative spirit accomplishes a lot more with me. I believe my inner mind is very similar. It's been ignored for years. Why should it respond to demands from the Chief Ignorer?
I now relax more and play more, with better results. However, I'm still trying to find ways to improve that connection to the inner mind. The signals are still subtle and I find myself second guessing them a lot. The one time I totally opened up to the signals (and just went with those things I sensed) was when Pete challenged us to try out PRing a novel. I was very surprised with the results. I need to capture and strengthen that experience.
