James,
To admit one's condition is a sign that one is on the road to recovery.
I too have suffered grief in my life (loss of dad when I was six, loss of brother when I was 21) ... they are strong emotions! No one can really truly ever be prepared ... however, note this, there is light at the end of the dark tunnel. There really is!
This world has it's cruelties, however, it also is a world full of treasure's waiting to be discovered in every sense.
You are normal and have the means to be successful ... it's just at this point in time in life, dark black thunderous clouds are clouding the beauty that life has to offer YOU.
I don't see a desperate kid, I see a young responsible lad taking charge of his life!
The cure is within you. Your thoughts and small positive actions are what will make you come out being the winner!
Paraliminals can and will help, think of them as 'positive' programming for the mind!
So hang tight, time cleanes all wounds!
