James,
My heart goes out to you. Please bear in mind that you're still a smart kid. Nothing has changed your capabilities.
If you can manage it right now, you should consider what you want. Try to see where you want to be. Consider where you can go with your talents to make a life that is fulfilling. As a father, I know that is what I want for my kids. That's a great way to pay tribute to the father you miss so much. I don't mean to suggest that you need to make a legacy to your father. I just mean that your father probably wanted nothing more than your success and fulfillment.
Once you have some sense of where you want to go, consider the tapes you have purchased. Each tape has suggestions for use and they all expect some level of vision (at the very least a goal of some kind). You'll be more effective if you use your vision to guide your usage of the tapes than if you just listen to a bunch of tapes. What do you want to attack first? Which tape seems most suited to helping you?
I hope this is somewhat helpful and I hope you'll continue to interact with this community.
