On your study problem. If there were great words of wisdom that could help you, you'd have heard them by now.
If you are looking for tools that would help you with your studies I suggest that the Anxiety Free paraliminal could help you get over your studying 'nerves'. Along with Memory Supercharger and Personal Genius.
Look at some form of mind quieting exercises to use prior to sitting down to study. Your getting sick, procastinating on studying (hiding in the bathroom 30 minutes at a time is a procastination trick with very real physical discomfort) words won't fix that. Action or technique is going to be required and something close to meditation can probably help.
Study groups. Study buddies and counsellors or mentors can help you with your study method. If you are in as big a mess as you say you are, get the college to help you. If they haven't got a counsellor to help you devise a study plan find a teacher or administrator to help you find someone who knows the system to help you devise one. Find someone you can go back to, to talk about your progress not just to write a plan and forget about you.
You have to do a bit of work on the mental side of things. Using the past to excuse your current grades doesn't help. Past, is Past, let it go. If anything, use what worked and forget the rest. You loved to read. Love it again. Where there is a will there is a way.
Alex
