i just ordered this stuff so i cant help you with that. really sorry to hear about you situation. life gives us challenges and sometime we feel we wont make it. here is master lins # 952-470-6889. maybe he can help. please try and hang in there. you have your whole life ahead to experience wonder and joy. your father would only want you to go on. turn your life into a beautiful song for him. you can do it!!!! blessings
