Here in Australia they call it the Tall Poppies Syndrome.
As you pointed out you want self esteem. I think you want to get to a place, within yourself, where you are at peace with yourself. A person who exhibits a sense of serenity and calm no matter what is going on around them who isn't frayed by the opinions of others finds themselves socially accepted by others.
People like to be near someone who is at ease, non judgemental (even if they do it themselves)and helps the ones who've taken a fall to get up again.
I couldn't suggest one book that you could read that will help you get the social skills you are after. However using the Self Esteem Supercharger with the goal of becoming a serene socially accepted person might help.
The Sedona Method course might also help. It teaches letting go of the need to control and paradoxly you get to control what you can. It also helps you release on relationships and money. Helping you to recogines what you can control and letting go of what you can't. The course helps you to become at ease with your life. Socially it helps you to let go wanting to control social situations and ultimately be in social situations. Genuinely enjoying them and the company of other people for what they are. People like your company when you genuinely like theirs.
Alex
