To Everyone,
Man, the love that is shown in this group is quite stirring. I mean, I’m sitting here at work and I just literally had to pull myself away from my desk and race to the bathroom to splash cold water on my face because I started getting choked up and felt the swells coming. Thanks, I am deeply and greatly touched.
Shawn, there is a thought that has been plaguing me for the past couple of months and as irrational as it may seem, it’s something that I keep mulling over and over again. You see, in some way I feel partially responsible and guilty for my mother’s rapid health deterioration.
In the first couple of weeks of early February 2004, I added my mother’s name to the weekly group healing session in order to ensure her recovery from 3rd stage multiple myeloma. In January 2004, after six months of chemotherapy, the chemotherapist reported that my mother was a miracle (the therapist’s exact words), as my mother had responded extremely well to the treatment and was making great progress. In addition, all the doctors and specialists had made similar reports and shared that were very optimistic and enthusiastic about my mother’s chances for recovery. My brothers, sisters and I were overjoyed to hear this great news because we could even see for ourselves how much better she had gotten and improved. She was alert, very active, had a healthy appetite and was improving with each passing day. God, I was so happy.
When I visited my mother at home, Saturday, February 14, 2004, 12:00p.m, for Valentine’s, it was then I discovered that my mother’s health seemed like it was starting on a decline. In fact, while I was by her bedside, my mother said something to me that packed a wallop. It literally felt like I’d been hit in the chest with a sledgehammer. You see, weeks before, I had enthusiastically shared with my Mom that I added her name to a group that performed healing sessions, etc., and that this was another step to help her get better and be well again. However, it seemed like I was getting the opposite results. She went ahead and told me that since I started performing healing sessions on her via the group session and on my own at home, she felt that she worsening. Well, she did deteriorate rapidly after that and by May 2nd…
Anyway, in a real way, I feel partially responsible for this sad turn of events. Shawn, could this be possible??? That is, could energy work produce an opposite effect and yield a negative outcome? Again, intellectually I realize that this may be an irrational belief. However, I feel compelled to get it out of my system and pose the question to you just to know for sure, for closure hopefully.
Be well,
Web
