John82, I'm not sure what you are asking, but hear are some of my thoughts in response to your post.
You are not a negative person. In the past you have held a thought pattern that often projected negative outcomes. You are not your thought patterns.
You can change your thought patterns, if you choose. There are techniques and beliefs you can adopt and use. Adopting new patterns is like gardening. Some people can yank out some weeds and plan beautiful ideas in there place. But most of us plant the seeds, and care for the new and beautiful ideas. We do weeding, but they seem to come back. With each day we nurture the positive and discourage the negative. Soon the Positive is large and strong enough that it can maintain it's own territory from any weeds.
Like any gardener, we must have faith that the seeds we plant with SFQ will bear the bounty we seek. I know it will, the climate and support the product gets will greatly enforce the growth.
In SFQ what are our seeds? Love, kindness and forgiveness. These are for ourselves as well as others. Do not judge, just seek to give these to others.
How do you become a successful SFQ gardener? There are the six keys of success: faith, confidence, call on the masters energy, focus, visualization, and consistency.
In your post you've addressed some of these six keys. My suggestion is for you to revisit the six keys and see where you can benefit the most in growing a positive outlook.
You are perfection.
Iam2 
