Forums IMPORTANT: PLEASE READ Spring Forest Qigong What is wrong with me?

Everytime I practice some form of Qigong, I end up growing to hate it for no reason. Last week, I started practicing Master Lin's Small Universe (after a long hiatus from meditation); it was an extremely exhilirating experience, I felt relaxed, happy, and every other good thing you could possibly feel from meditating. Now, just a week later, I feel like **** whenever I try to practice Small Universe, just the thought of it makes me ill. The same thing happened with Qigong, and I can't figure it out. The only time I can ever enjoy these exercises is when I've waited so long I've forgotten what they felt like. How can I fix this?

Is there something, maybe, you believe about it that makes you feel that way?

Do you feel on some level that maybe it's bad to experience that kind of exhilirating, relax, happy experience through qigong or meditation?

It may be that you've gone deeper into yourself and are encountering some kind of energy block that you may need to work through? I don't know.

I think a healthy dose of self-exploration might be helpful here.

First off, I would say that you shouldn't ask "What is wrong with me" because your mind is going to find an answer to that one even if it has to make it up.

If you put the smile on your face and keep thinking that this is the most beautiful thing you have ever done and generate those type feelings you probably find it becoming much easier. Do not let your mind pull you into thinking it is hard and efforting because if you focus on that, that is what you get more of.

Jeff

Again Nacho, this is not in my experience. My suggestion is to stay with the Positive focus. View this as a movement of energy and that by staying with SFQ you and the universe will move you to a better place of healing.

When you do SFQ you may have some negative experiences, try and stay with it as long as you can. Master Lin would say that this is the time when you can make the most progress.

Master you will, choose to do SFQ and do it. Do not expect, because you do not know the path. Do not lablel, because you do not understand. Have faith in the universe and confidence in your practice. You need not know the route or recognize the terrain to know your best course is given shown in the words of your master. Perhaps you should revisit his instructions again. You may find and answer you didn't see before.

You are perfection.
Iam2

My 2 cents now. I agree with everything everyone has said so far. All good advice and comments. I would add that from my experience with mindfulness Zen meditation and insight meditation, also the Toltec tradition, it is good to remember that this is just your mind talking. There are so many voices in our head talking to us all the time. We've been listening to them all our lives, but we don't have to. Often they are not talking truth, they're just talking out of fear, out of past negative experiences. We don't have to believe them, just thank them for their opinion and go on.

Also I would add that if you are like many or most of us, you've often thought there was something wrong with you. That's what has led many of us to Qigong and the spiritual growth path, this 'what's wrong with me' question. Certainly it was so with me. So it is a good thing. Leading us questions, and to the answers. Meanwhile, the first answer, there is nothing wrong with you..

I understand where you are, I've been where you are. I have every faith you can 'break through' but it might take a great deal of consistency and contining to practice even when not sure why, for a time. You are not alone. This forum, the universal energy, Master Lin, all of us who send healing energy to each other. We're all here. There is nothing wrong with your question, and there is NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU.

Rest assured.

Also, read Master Lin's book. You will know this is a man who has nothing but love in his heart and this practice is nothing but love in action. No fear. The universe is a loving and supportive place. I don't know why, but I believe everything this man says. I totally trust him. And the universe.

I feel great empathy for you. I hope this speaks to your heart. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to respond. It has helped me think about my own feelings.

Life is short. Enjoy and celebrate. Spend time every day being grateful.

Gratefully,
Stephanie

I went through a long period of not being able to practise SFQ on a regular basis and then I used the Sedona Method goal setting process to ovecome my resistance to it. The Sedona Method view is that we resist even what we most want to do on occasions, but a fairly simple procedure really helped me to get back in touch with my practice. There are tapes available and also a book.

Love

Kev

babayada - Everything I like I grow to dislike. I can't explain why it happens, all I know is that started 3 years ago, and I can't shut it off.

I self explore on a daily basis. Still, I can't find a practical answer to this.

jeffdengr - Too late. My mind already decided that in order continue with my meditation I should quite forcing myself, and only meditate when I have no tension whatsoever no matter how long that takes.

My mind, beleive it or not, isn't the one telling me to pull away from this. I feel like ****, but I'm not telling myself to feel that way. I could tell myself over, and over again that this is one of the most beatiful things on Earth (and I have), and it won't help. I've found the only way to curve these feelings is by letting my mind drift into other thoughts, which basically means little to no focus on the exercise I'm doing.

Steph - If there is a voice in my mind that's generating these feelings, then I cannot hear it. I lost the ability to create emotion from thoughts a while ago. That is why I'm worried. The feelings I have cannot be explained (for now), and thus they cannot be controlled (for now). I have read Master Lin's book, and have been practicing SFQ for over a year now.

I hope this info helps somewhat, I put off responding to this topic because I was afraid of what your responses would be. I also decided to wait until 12:30 in the morning to write this on a school night with a 5 page draft for English that still needs finishing, which means this response probably looks a little half-assed. I'll try to get here a little earlier next time.

Thanks
Notch

Nacho,

Your description reminds me of the description
of spiritual dryness. I think St. John of the
Cross called it The Dark Night of the Soul.
There is another name which I cannot find
right now like asadea: Someone else may know.

It sounds to me as if you are going through
a spiritual passage. SFQigong is many things;
one of which is a spiritual practice.

I can only encourage you to continue the
practice as best you can. It may be just
doing one of the meditations or one small
active exercise of your choosing until
what you are going through lifts.

You might put yourself in the group
healing.

Gianni

"I can only encourage you to continue the
practice as best you can. It may be just
doing one of the meditations or one small
active exercise of your choosing until
what you are going through lifts."

I question the healing power of the active exercises. Aside from some feelings of relaxation, and increased creativity, and some minor physical improvements nothing major ever came from doing them over and over again.

Now, even though this topic seems to have died already, I thought I'd use it to ask another question regarding SFQ meditation. It's Day 4 since I started doing Small Universe meditations on a daily basis, and since finishing my last meditation exercise I've grown a heightened sense of anxiety that I can't seem to shake off. If anyone has any advice for how to shake this off, I'm all ears.

I don't want these feelings to carry over when it's time to do my next meditation.
----

Also, I'm currently developing two cold sores on my lower lip. Now, I don't know if that has anything to do with what's causing my anxiety, but it really doesn't seem to be helping.

[This message has been edited by Nacho (edited November 30, 2004).]

Nacho,

Believe me doing the standing exercises are very powerful and they defentaly have great health benefits. You really have to put a lot of time and concentration into the exercises to really get the maximum benefits from them. If you had your third eye open and you looked at someone doing the exercises you would see the tremendous energy movement that is taking place. My guess is you are dealing with some major blockages which is why you are not feeling much. I used to have that problem where I would not feel very much even after doing a long set of exercises. I would recommend what ended up helping me was getting a friend to work with. This friend and me did (still do) level two healing practice on each other. That way you can really concentrate on getting rid of the blockages in your system, which will greatly help you practice.

-RoyalC130