babayada - Everything I like I grow to dislike. I can't explain why it happens, all I know is that started 3 years ago, and I can't shut it off.
I self explore on a daily basis. Still, I can't find a practical answer to this.
jeffdengr - Too late. My mind already decided that in order continue with my meditation I should quite forcing myself, and only meditate when I have no tension whatsoever no matter how long that takes.
My mind, beleive it or not, isn't the one telling me to pull away from this. I feel like ****, but I'm not telling myself to feel that way. I could tell myself over, and over again that this is one of the most beatiful things on Earth (and I have), and it won't help. I've found the only way to curve these feelings is by letting my mind drift into other thoughts, which basically means little to no focus on the exercise I'm doing.
Steph - If there is a voice in my mind that's generating these feelings, then I cannot hear it. I lost the ability to create emotion from thoughts a while ago. That is why I'm worried. The feelings I have cannot be explained (for now), and thus they cannot be controlled (for now). I have read Master Lin's book, and have been practicing SFQ for over a year now.
I hope this info helps somewhat, I put off responding to this topic because I was afraid of what your responses would be. I also decided to wait until 12:30 in the morning to write this on a school night with a 5 page draft for English that still needs finishing, which means this response probably looks a little half-assed. I'll try to get here a little earlier next time.
Thanks
Notch
