Hello Gallen -
Thank you so much for your encouragement and suggestions. I have read your post many times and have much to learn from it. Last night and this morning I focussed on the "inner smile" and slowed the movements down. This definitely felt different . . . better. You spoke of a balanced practice. I'm not sure that I totally understand this. During the active ex. I focus most of my time on the Moving of yin and yang because this exercise seems the most powerful to me - it feels as if that is where I am to do my "work" - but I sometimes worry that I should not focus so much on just one exercise. Timewise I'm presently spending about an hour and a half on practise each day so I will try to expand on this. I sometimes lay down after lunch for a 20 min. "rest" and this is oddly a time when I drift off and my body seems to conduct its own unstructured "practice" of sorts - I sometimes awaken with a "start" as if there has been some type of movement within or I may awaken and have difficulty moving my hands because they are so heavy. - strange sensations overall. My biggest challenge at this point is to get a decent night's sleep. I sleep fitfully and "roll" from one dream to the next - nothing that makes sense or seems to have much relevance - but my mind must be working all night long. I will make more of an effort to practise "mindfulness" through the day and monitor or 'lablel' my thoughts and then release the excess energy - possibly this will help with what's in my mind at night?
Once again Gallen, thank you so much for your insight and help. I will try to stay the course and trust that something will shift soon or when the time is right.
Gianni - Thank you also for your thoughts. It really does help so much to know that I'm not alone with these problems. I am working with the interior smile and I like your idea of carrying it over to an all day "attitude". I'm going to try that today.
THANK YOU ALL!
Etoile
