I wish I knew a good joke right now. It is easy to get too serious and not have a good laugh here and there. Master Lin is great at that.
Matt,
Non thought is a very healthy state to experience. It is easy to say and talk about, but it is not so easy to really understand and do. Something to exercise and get better at.
Non thought is just that. No positive thoughts, no negatives. Nothing.
You have this intense 'after the sessions/during the sessions time' where you feel things, then analyze and critique them. It would be beneficial to try and lighten up. There are different ways to work with the mind. The mind may respond to you giving it a rest. That can be a welcome shift. If not, give your mind a focus. A focus can be as simple as the smile, which for you, would be very beneficial. You smile, then turn that smile inward. Nothing else, no thoughts, a smile, that feeling, the face and brow relax, then, you give that to yourself. An internal hug. The mind has no business in that. It gives you a powerful, healing, break. Calms the spirit.
A thought, can be stopped before it is complete. There is a Taoist method I read of once that spoke of immediately cutting off the thought with a sword. A quick response to a forming thought. If the thought doesn't complete, it is very different, than if it does, as far as practice experience goes, and as far as manifestation goes. You don't loose anything, by stopping it. You recognize that you are self aware , and can experience the perspective of 'you' and your mind as separate.
If my mind responds to me giving it a rest, great. If it doesn't, pull out the sword, or give it a focus. Self discipline. The smile can be a focus, or just being present, neutralizing thoughts as they arise. Not 'reacting' to feelings, analyzing feelings, or judging them. Moving from the feeling, to then smiling inward to embrace yourself, is an act of self compassion. You are compassionate, towards self, as a response to thinking. A loving, or compassionate response, as opposed to a thinking/analyzing one. You allow the feeling to move, allow the energy to move, you smile inward, no thinking, or, a feeling of self love and compassion towards yourself, the human experience and compassion towards that and the work you do for yourself. thoughts come up, ,,,again, you stop them in their tracks,hard or soft,(preferrably soft) go back to the smile, go back to a focus. Melt back into butter.
Small universe is not just running laps. I would speculate, that many people learn it, and the smile, although an aspect that is taught, fades. It doesn't matter if it feels mechanical at first to do this. It will get smoother. It is a detail to alignment, like tucking the chin and lengthening the spine. You revisit it in your meditation when it needs another spin.
When you leave your meditation or active exercise, don't shift so readily to the mind and all the thinking. Try to extend the soft edge of the session. Take that with you, continue to be aware of the mind and thinking part. Don't necessarily give up that self awareness and get lost in thought. If you didn't have a thought for a whole day, you would find yourself in a very different place. It is, very difficult work doing this. You can become very tired montoring thoughts. Just like any exercise, you take a break, perhaps a day off, then try it again.
Even just sitting , focused on a candle flame or any point or thing. A single focus, no thoughts, practice neutralizing them, stopping them, go back to the focus. You may only make it seconds, before thoughts arise or you lose focus. Fine. You are still centering in self awareness,,,,,working with it. When you practice movement, you just practice. You know it will improve, and the practice itself has great merit.
Next time you exercise or meditate, try responding to feelings with non thought and smiling inward. Even if you only accomplish ten seconds. Build on that. Feel good about being able to have an effect. A choice. A positive response.
love,
gallen
