Dear Hartreefoch,
I just finished reading your first post and recognized that state of mind, that I have all too often visited upon myself. Frustrated in the perplexity of the desperate attempt to neatly compartmentalize that which can not be compartmentalized, we wait and search for a neat and tidy answer that won't be found, not by mind . The great thing however is that truth is eternal and will be there for us whenever we are ready to receive it, it is inexhaustible. Mind however will exhaust itself, shriveling in sections here and there granting truth some avenue of passage. You are not your mind you are that behind your mind and all other's minds as well. I believe that when one knows this on more than an intellectual basis, he or she is then enlightened. I work very diligently on staying in the now and observing my thoughts and acts and I must say it is an extremely difficult uphill battle all the way. It is all too easy to get caught up in our ingrained patterns on both an individual and group level. So we just keep plugging away, doing the best that we can in any given moment. I have watched the ways in which my mind uses me and am presently trying to take back the reigns. For myself I have realized that what I seek I am and what I truly am has all the answers, answers which mind can never grasp. So, in this knowing, when I find myself questioning things of spirit, I recognize it to be only mind, because true self knows and does not need question. I have put all my faith in this and it is in this I rest.
I must agree with Ingrid regarding both books mentioned, though The Power of Now is my favorite, and Courses in Miracles is also quite good. I never completed the later though, I came to a line where Jesus said "There is nothing about me that you can not attain. I have nothing that does not come from God. The difference between us now is that I have nothing else. This leaves me in a state that is only potential for you." Since I read that I know that my only way back to the Garden of Eden is to bring myself back to the original state of nakedness that was Adam and Eve pre snake, pre mind. I do qigong for the movement of energies that I am aware of and more especially for those that hide. I do it to move from intellectual to experiential. Like Ingrid I was very drawn in and felt at once complete love and trust for Master Lin. All this from a book cover. I knew he was the one I was to learn from, and only one thing could KNOW with the certainty I felt, and it trumped mind .
As far as gurus telling you what to do. I will leave you with this interesting take on the word guru given in a talk by an enlightened Ivy LeDuece (no doubt misspelled) from the Meher Baba Spiritual Foundation. She said to all those enquiring about gurus-Gee YoU R yoU, aren't you? That always stuck with me.
Be what you are in this moment whether that you practices Qigong or not makes no difference in the big picture, let the guilt go and decide to do it or not to do it. It's your decision and your responsibility to be true to yourself, and in every moment we can do so, more will be added will added unto us.
I'm sorry for going on and on. Thank any who take the time to read me.
Good night
Marcy
