Oxygen,
you have no idea how much I empathise with you, my friend.
I've been challenged with this guilt and self revulsion for a long time too. also I'll not bore you with details as all it does it reaffirm the ego's lies about ourSelf.
What's helped me? firstly, after trying lots of different paths I did some Journey therapy. This helped, not because of the therapy, but because I found a wonderful therapist who'd been through this and out the other side into peace and self-acceptance. The moral? Find a therapist you trust as it's their love not the process that provides the catalyst.
Secondly, I started studying A Course In Miracles. This wonderful way of transformation has been revelatory to me and my understanding of who it is that says, "I don't love myself". The mind isn't who we are. simple as that. We don't have to Love ourselves because we ARE Love. We just need to remove the barriers - love will take care of itself.
Thirdly, I got into Sedona Method. This or any other simple means of releasing e-motions, thoughts and feelings is essential. It's all just energy that needs to move ;-)
If any of this resonates feel free to explore. If not worry not, everything truely is perfect exactly as it is, my Brother.
The most important thing I've learnt is nothing can harm us but our thoughts. Truely nothing. We're not a body or mind, but an energetic aspect of Oneness. Well, in truth not even that.
Never be afraid to face the darkness for you're never alone. Only the ego-mind that beleives in separation thinks that. It's the big illusion.
If you know all this at an intellectual level already I apologise if it sounds preachy. My intent is to hold your hand in Oneness so we may both realise our perfection in Heaven(which is right here always).
blessings, Bro
Dean
