If you are looking for someone who doesn't contradict himself every other second, I don't think you should look to Bandler.
There is a path between self-esteem and humility, and that is realism.
In terms of following a philosophy, I like Nietzsche's more than others. You should look at yourself realistically and with sobriety and say "yes" to what is. Say yes to the ugly as well as the beautiful, and be realistic about it.
Humility and esteem often have to do with comparisons. I find myself torturing myself at various times and on subtle levels with fantasies about an ideal self, who I should be, how I think I am.
When you look in the mirror and don't like what you see, you should not seek refuge in denial. You should not try to lose yourself and relinquish responsibility in self-pity. Nor should you deny what you see and pump yourself up with a ridiculous fantasy.
Rather, you should take a breath and say, "Ok, this is how it is. I accept this, I will not harbor illusions about myself and about how I should be." Be realistic. If you feel like crap about the way you are, feel like crap about the way you are. Figure out why exactly you feel that way and what you can do about it. And do it.
I find that when I am realistic in this manner it is incredibly humbling, but it also gives me strength. I can confront judgments other people make of me and how they try to manipulate me and still maintain my balance. I know who I am, I know where I am going. I am not going to be swayed.
And, even when I am swayed, that is reality telling me something. Better to confront it, accept it, and respond to it in a REAL way other than losing yourself in a fantasy of pathos or hubris.
I am reminded of that scene in Fight Club, where Brad Pitt kisses Edward Norton on his hand and then douses it with lye. The pain of the chemical burn makes Edward Norton want to go to his happy place, then Brad Pitt slaps him in the face and says, "Stop it! This is your pain -- this is your burning hand. It's right here! Look at it.... don't deal with this the way those dead people do. Come on!"
I think that the issue of self-esteem vs. humility is a little like that. If you can face the ugliness in your life, in your self, with honesty and sobriety, then that breed humility. But if you can do something like that and pull it off, you may be ugly or have ugly traits, but you sure are something, aren't you?
We're not superstars. We're not God's privileged children. We aren't what Hollywood or the New Age are selling us. We know damn-well who and what we are. And if we start really looking at it and dealing with it realistically, we'll find that affirming what's real, no matter how base, is so much better than living in a fantasy.
A thatched shack is better than a castle in the sky any day... especially when the storm hits.
