You are reacting from a stand point of fear. You need to dig deep down and discover why you feel afraid to talk to women. Is it because of bad relationships in the past? Feeling inadequate? Fear of rejection? These issues need to be dealt with.
Second I would address what went wrong in the first marriage. It is likely to resurface as a problem if you don't identify what the issue was. Be careful about pointing fingers and blaming here. if you were just stupid and picked the wrong person or rushed in too fast without getting to know them then you have to own up to it and learn the lesson.
You must also determine your goal. Are you just looking for a date? Sex? A soulmate? if you don't know what you are after it is likely you won't find it even if it falls in your lap.
The most important thing you can do to find someone after you know what you want is to become the person that is good enough for the person you think is good enough for you. There is nothing wrong with wanting a tall, attractive, sexy, slim, intellgent, etc, etc, etc. But you have to be fair and ask yourself, "What would I have to offer such a person?" And work to make the necessary changes in your own life to become that person for her.
A small book I would recommend is Attaining Your Desires by Genevieve Behrend. it is a general life manual of sorts but it is very direct and to the point and even talks about relationships and how to attract what you are after.
Tony Robbins talks about an exercise where you write down everything you want in a person down to the kind of fingernail polish they wear. Get clear in your own mind about what you really do want and don't settle in your description.
Looks aren't everything but I wouldn't buy into the idea that you should let that go as a desire. Attractiveness is a matter of opinion and pretty much everyone fits "somebody's" ideal of attractive. You have to get clear on what you consider attractive to be.
Another thing you can do is simply practice. If you have any female friends practice talking to them and role play a bit. See if you can work with a friends wife over dinner or a sister. If these aren't feasible then go out for the purpose of practicing. Go where ever you go to meet women with the intent to practice talking to pretty girls. Set your mind before going in that you aren't there to meet anyone so they can't reject you. You are just there to practice talking. This takes the pressure of you and you can go find the best looking girl and open up.
Another point is be yourself and be honest. If you walk up to some girl and feel nervous then say so, its a way to break the ice. "Hey I am really nervous about talking to you but I saw you sitting here and thought you were really pretty and had to come and tell you. Would you mind talking with me?"
Don't make it harder than it is. Attractive women are no different that anyone else. they are regular people. Keep that in mind.
You can also play role when talking to people. See yourself as a superhero or a famous actor. Play the part of the male lead who gets all the girls. Then you don't have to worry about getting rejected because you aren't you. You are just playing a part. if it goes well you can always stuff the mask under the bar and be yourself.
