I tested my internal experience when there was a possibility to approach a very attractive woman today...
Note: I've never slept around so I don't take that part flippantly, but I was testing my internal experience for improvement, for the sake of all involved.
My internal experience was that I was trying to match conditions and rules I had in my mind. So even if the lady looked at me favourably, and she was 'perfect' I had conditions and rules within myself, about me being right for her. This goes back to the post on if you mean no harm then why fear rejection.
The self-development I have to do now would either be cancelling out the conditions and rules of how I have to be, and settling for lesser conditions of how I have to be. Or it would be meeting the conditions and rules by developing my self to the point of satisfaction enough for me to feel confident to approach.
I've never wanted to have one-night stands, my conditions and rules are to me kinder to all involved.
Friendship based relationships are realistic because I can't give more than that at the moment. There are too many risks otherwise, and you know what Paul Scheele says with the Anxiety Free Paraliminal ie, to make plans to cover the conditions, or risks, which is what I'm doing.
So I think many of us have risk on the mind, not just risk to us, but risk to the woman, which in the end if we have that covered would increase our integrity.
