Hi Will
I think many people have difficulties moving from one type of environment to another type of environment, especially if they've been in the previous environment for a long time. It is not your fault that you could not fit in very well, many would have been in the same position as you. So I hope you can see that you did your best, and nobody in your shoes could have done better. The cause of the problem is not you but you have a responsibility to yourself to find a solution.
A brain that feels like glue, and having anxiety attacks, I think I can relate to a brain feeling like glue, I think it is fear, is that what you felt when your brain felt like glue? It sounds like you need to reassure yourself and feel safe while learning new responses to new situations. Claim your power to act on your own behalf and be determined that you will find ways to heal yourself.
I know sometimes I can't move on unless I build myself up, and reach a new level of power, and self-confidence. So sometimes we can't move on until we've caught up to where we want to be.
Talk to people who will listen to you, and make sure you find them, for your own sake.
One Learning Strategies program you could invest in is Natural Brilliance. When you start doing stuff on your own behalf, and feeling safe in those new situations you decide to try, you begin to feel safer and safer, expanding your influence and life. It is also a very healing program for those fears that we get stuck in. Gently, step by step you can move forward, and catch up to where you want to be.
One thing you could do, the paraliminal New History Generator does a similar thing: write down what happened at school how it was, write down how you would have liked it to have been, now you start seeing possibilities that you might be able to claim back some of your power to act in future.
If you get New History Generator, do a session with the purpose to feel you did your best, and that you desire the paraliminal to guide your mind to take you through school acting and succeeding the way you would have liked it. Reviewing your past in this way will sow seeds of confidence and new possibilities for similar situations in the future.
