Thanks Alex
I guess getting settled on a couple of goals is what I am finding difficult.
After reading your reply I listed out 3 pages of goals, that cover things for example from travel, relationships, surfing to gardening and getting massaged (just to name a few). I then narrowed these pages down to 20 generalised goal areas and tried to prioritise these areas. For example, spending more quality time with my elderly parents came out tops on this condensed goal list.
However
I now notice apart from a few goals that can be indirectly linked to generally low paid jobs, (ie tending my own organic garden) there are none that are really clearly career orientated, they are all fun and pleasure orientated. And my main goals of spending more time with my elderly parents means spending more time in a region where unemployment is amongst my countries worst (not to say opportunities are not there, but one must make ones own opportunities in this particular location).
and many other goals conflict too, however what stands out most is higher priority goals involving lots of travel in remote places and cultures and at the same time having a desire for a small farm as a home base, a place to retreat to after travel and recharge etc.
I feel drawn one way then the next. I know if I dont travel I get really bored with the same surrounds etc. This has always happened after one or two years of being settled but then after 6 months of the hyperstimulus of travel in exotic places I burn out physically and financially and then begin thinking it is time to work towards settling down and starting roots and making a little money etc. its like a never ending loop that i so far cant afford to do properly and comfortably but also cant get off, for that intoxication of the new when I hit the road once again is initially pure magic, almost drug like, but the travel is the phase where I burn up the little money I make.
Now when I see myself in the settled phase of the cycle with no farm and no trees of my own and very low paid uninteresting work with rude bosses I feel angry with myself.
I have tried sorting through these conflicts in the past 2 years with parraliminals, 'new option generator' in particular but still remain onthe cycle? Curiously the 'prosperity' tape may have made some impact for I made some good stock and options investment choices since I have been using it (or was it luck?), which has made the travel phase a little more comfortable.
Also thanks Alex for your suggestion on Qi Gong for the ADHD, I am currently working on brain gym exercises to try and get better communication between brain hemispheres but will look into it when I find some more money.
regards
beachwalker
