Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind by Shunryu Suzuki is a very good book on Zen Meditation.
The author is very wise, and his approach to meditation is very sensible. I think reading this book or listening to it in audiobook format will help you derive a greater sense of meaning from your meditation experiences, which is what I think I see you longing for.
It seems to me you may want a greater sense of participation and meaning in the process. If that is so, then that book will help.
