Last week I attended a retreat sponsored by Eric Pepin and the Higher Balance Institute in Hawai’i at the Kalani Oceanside Retreat. This experience beyond anything I could ever expect to experience in this life and I am sure it will affect me forever.
On Thursday, I woke up before the sun and walked to the shoreline to watch the sunrise. I finally felt like I was over the head cold that had been doggedly pursuing me for the a week. Standing atop 40 foot cliffs, feeling the wind and watching the surf crash, the water spray, and the sky start to lighten was a magical moment. It was a moment I felt in my chest, like it had substance...
After the sun was up, I walked to 7 am meditation in the Blue Room. Eric R, the Higher Balance instructor, told us today our focus would be his purpose. He considers meditation time, the universe’s time, not his time. And that he willing gives this time to the universe, willing to give anything the universe asks... his purpose is to serve the universe. This expression of servitude to a higher power touched an emotional thread in me. I began to cry… and I proceeded to have an intense, emotional, powerful meditation… a calling to find my own purpose, perhaps a similar purpose to Eric R’s.
Then Breakfast, followed by 9 am classes. This was the last day of classes and a friend got me into the popular dimensional portal class. People had been talking about this class all week. We sat through an hour of instruction of how and why.
Then we entered the sweat lodge and got ready. A black cloth was hanging on one wall as a target and sheets were hung on the doors to block most of the light. We started with half a dozen group “ohms” to get our energy in synch, and then we started to work on opening the portal. Midway through the third attempt, I wasn’t seeing very much so I closed my eyes for a minute. As soon as I did, my mind plugged in to this stream of energy/data. Something far outside ordinary reality. My brain interpreted this as a flow of hundreds… no, of thousands of colored cubic molecules in different orbits around larger cubic molecules. I felt this experience intensely. I now have some feeling for what people are talking about when they use words like dimensional consciousness or multi-dimensional consciousness.
Then lunch, followed by an afternoon with Eric Pepin. First Eric lectured for an hour about how he learned to work with energy as a child. After a short break, we all got in our meditation poses for a session that Eric calls “feels like…” Music was playing in the background and Eric chanted a series of verbal images, each sentence beginning with feels like. I can’t really remember what happened during the session, I only became conscious again when Eric said, “That’s it. That’s the End.”
I was stunned by the feeling in my body. I looked at the clock and 40 minutes had passed. I could only remember 2 or 3 minutes. The feeling inside of me was so overwhelming. I couldn’t speak; I could hardly get up and walk to my room. After returning to my room, I laid on my bed so I could focus on and soak up the feeling inside of me. As I paid attention to parts of my body, I realized I was aware of each individual cell. And they were shaking, vibrating with this previously unknown feeling of joy, of expression, of connection to God.
I only had a half hour until I had to come back down for dinner. I still had these intense feelings of connection to everyone and everything around me as I sat down next to a friend at dinner. My friend had just started answering a question from a lady across the table, which was apparently, “What do you believe?” It turns out the lady was an evangelical Christian, a Southern Baptist. Apparently my friends New Age-like beliefs did not fit well with here. She told my friend and I that we were “going to Hell.” Then conversation became quite spirited when the lady said we were doing “the Jim Jones thing” and “no man could make” her “drink the cool-aide.” My friend asked why she had asked about our beliefs. She replied, “I’m interested in what drug dealers do too, but I don’t want to hang out with them.” That pretty much ended the conversation.
I grew up Christian and as I have I have gotten older, my beliefs have changed… evolved. I accept some and reject some of what Christianity teaches. I remember being amused by this conversation as it was taking place. After the lady left, my friend was quite angry… unresolved childhood issues with religion, I imagine. He was visibly showing his anger, swearing…
It was now 7 pm, time to leave and no talking now. Eric told us no talking after 7 pm so our minds would be quiet for that evening’s 7:30 pm guided meditation. As I walked back to the Blue Room, I began shaking with anger. I could not make my mind go quiet. As I walked in the dark, I passed Eric R. I could feel Eric R psychically scan me as he walked past. I have often practiced psychically scanning people, but I have never noticed someone scanning me before. After he passed me, he turned around in the dark and said, “What is up with you?” Eric R has known me for over a year and he later told me, “You just didn’t feel like you.”
I didn’t say anything when Eric R talked to me I just kept walking. But I started thinking… in class the day before, Baard, another Higher Balance instructor, talked about how our thoughts often do not originate with us, but with others; we pick up on them and we think they are our own. I begin thinking I almost never get angry, and certainly not with someone I don’t even know. Aha!!! I was angry because my friend got angry. He was broadcasting this intense emotion; I picked on it and internalized it. I was in a really empathic state of mind from the afternoon session. A huge puzzle piece about how the universe works just fell into place.
I am truly humbled by all of last week. I feel like the universe orchestrated the whole day… the whole week, for me. To motivate me, to advance me, prepare me for what is to come…
My friends,
Coyote
