It seems you have some pretty good advice here already. Especially about doing things gradually. But if you continue on and find you still can't get yourself motivated, you may want to see a doctor to be assessed for a low grade depression. You mentioned feeling dread and suffering, and how painful it was trying to change. I've been on antidepressants since 1990 for severe chronic depression, and though this takes care of the majority of my symptoms, my motivation is lacking for just about everything. I can so relate to your struggles with "I should. . ." I've used the Peak Performance Paraliminal with mixed results, and my doctor recently added another medication which seems to be working, but I'm waiting for the side effects (sleepiness and fatigue) to wear off. Definitely try the other suggestions here, but if you continue to feel like you're banging your head against a wall, by all means, get a consultation. There are many types and levels of depression. You don't have to be lying in bed all day and in tears to be afflicted. Nor do most people who go on medication need it for years. But, oh, what a difference it can make in your outlook! Best of luck!
