Really a great thread!
I can SO relate to what you are struggling with Brendon, and it's really interesting to see how many folks struggle with this issue, and describe it like I'm talking about it myself!
When I read your last post Brendon...... 2 things came to mind.... 1 is that you connected with some palpable clarity about your inner struggle, and were probably "freshly" associated with this clarity, and
2. That I hope you can recognize how much of the solution you articulated in that last post, and when you have "cloudy moments", you'll come back and read your last post.
When we have patterns of embedded beliefs, that seem so ingrained as to be an actual part of us, but which cause us pain, despair, and fuel self dislike or even self hatred, we simply see them as something that is "really wrong with us". Makes sense, because in effect, there IS something wrong with us, even if what is wrong with us is based on "our story ("...and I'm stickin to it!")", and in no way based on whether we came into this world with all the greatest abilities as "standard equipment".
Folks who have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) who wash their hands to the point of them being red and chaffed, we will all agree, that that is a painful issue (no pun intended), and the range of OCD behaviors can get extreme and very dangerous, depending on the issue.
But, the driving force is centered in the thinking and beliefs. Repetitive and compulsive "inner" behaviors and beliefs, are not much of a stretch, from physical OCD symptoms, just more easily concealed. They can be just as debilitating. I'm saying all this, driving to another point....
I heard a snippet on NPR a few years back, discussing people with OCD and Phobias, and the effect of Behavior Modification on neuro-physiology. They were able to map some of the abnormalities in the brain physiology, in folks who were severely "phobic".
The researchers than worked with these folks, using "behavior modification", i.e., having them take actions they didn't want to take, they were phobic about, and then looking for "before and after" changes in their brain physiology. A person with "fear of leaving the house, or going outside" (in actuality, not agoraphobic, but similar), that person would go outside, and walk to the sidewalk or mailbox or back, despite the intense fear. They would do this every day, then a couple of times a day.
Then they would transition to walking to the corner, and back... and do this for a number of days, then halfway around the block..... then around the block...
You get the idea...... the fascinating thing about this, as they studied the brain physiology of these folks, who faced their phobia, and "did it anyway", their brain physiology started looking more and more like that of a typical person. It changed their brains!
This, is a rather lengthy post, just to say; "yes, I think you are on to something there Brendon".
When I heard this radio snippet, I was in awe of the way we are built, and the power of the human spirit.
Cool stuff....... great posts too....
