BTW, I have started using SA a week ago. It may be that I would not have been able to admit the fact to myself without SA.
Yesterday after writing the message above I noticed a fera starting to rise. Apparently I have some methods to deal with it, but the methods only suppress it, I'm not yet able to get rid of the fear.
One more thing is apparent: There is something else involved. I don't know what. I just know I'm missing something. And it may well be that the methods I use to cope are the ones that prevent me from seeing the whole picture. It might even be that there is no problem left anymore, only the defences. Who konows?
Anyway, if anyone wants to help me, I suggest abandon all your presuppositions. Trust your instinct. Forget what you have learned from yoruself and other people, I'm not them. Use your intuition to the fullest. Write whatever comes to mind, don't edit! How weird it may be.
[He].2s2.2p4
