Kevin,
Thanks for the thoughtful post. I found it helpful.
You suggested other courses, and that led me to notice, I've been through this crisis several times already. This problem has arisen, or been released, by Dream Play, SFQ , Natural Brilliance and now, SA. Earlier I was not strong enough to face it. I don't know if I'm now, but at least I'm more determined.
Taking distance from my feelings is a good idea. I needed that advice. When you are in the middle of it, your brain proceses tend to slow down and it's difficult to se the easiest solution.
I now know what caused the fear in the first hand. It was internal dialogue, spoken in a very very VERY! hasty and hurried voice, like in some kind of distress. Several voices actually. Well, I should have known, there exist only very few internal processes that can cause the kind of feeling I had.
I had also a glimpse of the thing that lies behind. There is a very strong desire of doing notjing, hidden inside my system. That is, nothing except lie horizontally eyes closed and barely breath. Yikes! Deducing from that, the hasty internal dialogue was probably motivational talk! ;-)
Anyway, I know this desire to do nothing is also an old friend. And I'm just wondering what for is it there ?!!?? It feels like some kind of solution to a problm.... Wha problem? I hate to think about that....
[He].2s2.2p4
