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Today...

The fear I'm feeling is starting to be almost intolerable now. Unfortunately I feel the fear most when working... I'm getting almost paralysed when thinking of myself doing my most important duties. Just almost.

Obviously SA has released this fear in me. It has been there as far as I rmember backwards. Always poresent when I had to do something I considered important. Like a trustworthy friend.

Alex reframed fear in one of her replies... but it does not help me much. I sincerely wish I had enough resouces to get rid of this rear. Going this all through the hard way is not what I consider time of my life. I'm sure there is someone who could help me here, if not Alex, then someone else. The problem is of course, I don't know what resources I need and how someone can give them to me. That's up to the universe or whatever it's called. (To be true, I don't much care about the universe except in the physical sense. I just used the word for the lack of a better one.)

I hope the best for me.

[He].2s2.2p4

I was once told that Fear = Excitement when embrassed. The feeling that you have is a lot of your energy. See if you can make a feeling journal and make a chart. The back of the neck area across to sholders jaw. Then list the feelings that you have had there reciently such as tight, twisted, thick, pulling, heavy, blocked and what ever sensations you feel.
Then do the same things for the upper chest and throat. Then list the feeling in that area such as Congested, Lumpy,
Now around the abdomen area list the feelings that you have felt. And just list the feeling as they are, the use of labels good or bad is to be avoided. Feeling are just THAT feelings. You do really want to feel that is the goal.

And if you have taken the Abundance for life course do the feeling exercises especially The CD Know your truth, The Forth Path, and it would be excellent to do the accelerator CD's. And work with all the colors of your chakra's.

And if you have taken the Natural Brillance Course you can release. And put yourself into a much more resourceful state.

Now if you are in such a state that you are in distress. Please see your doctor to see if there is a physical reason for this (It could mean that your body chemistry may be out of balance because of diabetes, or bad diet) or there is an emotional problem that is near to the surface and could be dealt with by a very good counselor and you doctor can recommend one. And that journey is best done with another not alone.

Kevin,

Thanks for the thoughtful post. I found it helpful.

You suggested other courses, and that led me to notice, I've been through this crisis several times already. This problem has arisen, or been released, by Dream Play, SFQ , Natural Brilliance and now, SA. Earlier I was not strong enough to face it. I don't know if I'm now, but at least I'm more determined.

Taking distance from my feelings is a good idea. I needed that advice. When you are in the middle of it, your brain proceses tend to slow down and it's difficult to se the easiest solution.

I now know what caused the fear in the first hand. It was internal dialogue, spoken in a very very VERY! hasty and hurried voice, like in some kind of distress. Several voices actually. Well, I should have known, there exist only very few internal processes that can cause the kind of feeling I had.

I had also a glimpse of the thing that lies behind. There is a very strong desire of doing notjing, hidden inside my system. That is, nothing except lie horizontally eyes closed and barely breath. Yikes! Deducing from that, the hasty internal dialogue was probably motivational talk! ;-)

Anyway, I know this desire to do nothing is also an old friend. And I'm just wondering what for is it there ?!!?? It feels like some kind of solution to a problm.... Wha problem? I hate to think about that....

[He].2s2.2p4

Another thing, I noticed also a glimpse of sorrow in my heart. Only a glipmse. Needless to say, I'm not much connected to my heart and desires. These two things may well be connected.

[He].2s2.2p4

Now, OK, It really seems theat the hasty internal dialogue IS motivational talk. That is, whenever I start any task, the fear arises. I soon get rid of the fear (thanks again Kevin!)... and loose any motivation also. It's now happened a couple of times during this day.

Do I have any other ways to motivate myself? I can answer yes: If someone else wants something done, I can do it really easy. I can sort of "borrow" their motivation. (The bad side of course is, people sometimes want really weird things! And this turns me into a people pleaser also!) But that's how I have got this far.

And teh really Big question is: How do I go and change this? What kind of motivation strategy could I use? Or strategies! it would be useful to have several...

I started the AFL course I ordered a couple of weeks ago. It smmes to me a bit of hasty to change course only after two weeks, but I felt it was OK. That is, more than OK. I had reached with SA the level where I could utilize AFL. Things again clicked in place.

I remember writing messages about my motivation here in the forum. Now I can say I have found some answers to my questions.

Having the time of my life (and no motivation )))))

[He].2s2.2p4

Anxiety Free Paraliminal, and Automatic Pilot will be useful for finding the motivation again.

Alex