Hi D2C,
I wrote you a lengthy reply to your original question (for some reason I had missed your reply), but when I clicked "Continue", it said " the form is no longer valid... press the back button" And when I did that all the text I wrote had vanished! And I thought this forum had gotten rid of this feature...! (Alex, is there anything that can be done?)
Anyway. in short, I have a strong feeling you might benefit from the Core transformation by Connirae Andreas. It's a process that helps you find your most inner motivations. You can find a short description here:
http://www2.hawaii.edu/~lady/archive/core-transformation.html or in the book Core transformation.
[He].2s2.2p4