Jeff - thank you for your suggestion. It is certainly in this area that I feel I need to be paying more attention. The way you have put this has added another angle to the process which I feel has been emerging from my communication about the health issue - both here on the forum and with other like-minded friends.

I think my initial intent in posting here was to open up discussion about how to maintain hope, faith or motivation in the face of physical deterioration. I am surprised that there has not been someone 'in the same boat' come forward and offer how they, personally, 'stay with it'.

Most things we do during our everyday life, we do with a purpose. Whether it's eating because you're hungry, working to earn money, watching TV to switch off, getting drunk to 'zone out'. I started (and continue) to do SFQ with the intent to heal my physical condition. There have been times when I have felt the benefits physically - but mostly it has been emotionally, energetically or spiritually. To deliberately choose to continue with something that is not overtly 'working' requires faith that one day it will work. Or, it requires that I pay more attention to the other benefits, and be content with them. Or a combination of the two. I do have enough benefit in departments other than the physical to give me good purpose for continuing. My faith that I will be physically healed - that is another issue. Since this discussion, it feels less important.

I have recently been reading one of Stephen Levine's books where he stresses the importance of Loving Kindness (for self and others) as the foundation for all practice. What Chunyi would term Love, Kindness and Forgiveness, Stephen refers to as merciful awareness. At the point in time, this came as such a useful reminder (that Love is the foundation). In the whole issue of whether I am improving or not improving, it has been so important to remember the central point: the Heart of the matter. When I feel dis-Heartened, I should have a strong clue as to what can deliver balance - but we all forget some of the time.

Thank you again for all your thoughts and wishes.
With love,
Mick