Forums IMPORTANT: PLEASE READ Beyond Human Why is it so difficult?

Hi all, from my previous posts, many of you already know my 'situation'. I was doing great for a while but now it seems I am back at square one. Feeling frustrated and unfairly treated.

Despite all the LS tapes and other resources to help me get out of my negativity, I find that when I really need to flow feelings of gratitude, I don't. Instead, I chase my negative train to the point of tears.

I am meeting all my goals except one. Relationships. And this is because I have trust issues. I am seeing a counsellor - who frankly isn't helping any more than the help I am getting here. The counsellor is good. I can talk to him and I am sure, if I wasn't aware of LS and Brain Sync programs, he would have been an immense help - but he is not currently because he is telling me everything that I already know.

My question is - how do I get past negative memories? Every single time something great happens, I sabotage it by holding back and behaving in a manner that makes other people think I am being difficult - but all I am trying to do is protect myself from getting hurt again. Then - I get hurt anyway!

New History Generator hasn't shown any results. LOA isn't working. What more can I do?

D2C, I think the LOA is working. It's just that because you're thinking (consciously or unconsciously) of what you don't want, that's what you're getting.

Years ago, long before learning of Paul Scheele (and maybe before he even put out his wonderful recordings), I used to use some tapes from Bob Griswold. I'd forgotten about them until I was cleaning out one of my closets, and came across a box of them, probably circa 1980-something.

One of them was about positive thinking, which was all the rage back then, but is largely forgotten or overlooked in most of today's programs--as a standalone program, I mean.

Well, I pulled out my trusty old tape player, and gave it a listen, just out of curiosity. Yes, it is old fashioned, no fancy paraliminal or other sound enhancements, just straight hypnosis without all the bells and whistles. And the actual script might seem fairly hokey by today's standards, but despite all that--it's very effective. I've been using that tape for several weeks, and I really and truly love it. My attitude is improving and so is almost everything else. Everyone asks me what I'm doing. I tell them I took a walk back in time.

I did an internet search, and the place is still in business (Effective Learning Systems), and they still have that tape plus it's also on CD now. (Since I don't like tapes or tape players much, I might go ahead and order one.)

In my personal opinion, nothing is going to make the promise of The Secret come true until we conquer that old negative thinking dragon. Although Learning Strategies embeds a few of those suggestions in most of their programs, I think what's needed is a program totally devoted to this. At least, that's what I think =I= needed, and maybe others do, too--maybe you as well?

Hi Jeanne! Thank you so much – I was feeling sad (I have been checking the thread like every 30 seconds! Talk about nutso!).

I did look at ELS website, they seem to have limited selection. I will download (when I get home later today) their free MP3 to hear the quality of the speaker’s voice. I cannot stand Earl Nightingale’s (Nightingale/Conan) voice although I do like a lot of tapes they promote/distribute. Hopefully Bob Griswold will have a good voice that I can listen to - for hours.

You may be talking about their Positive Thinking and Happiness series. I will check these out. Thank you for the suggestion.

QUESTION however – I may have asked this before because I just don’t get it. If the Universe is supposed to be dumb and processes all requests as received then why does it process negative thoughts faster than the positive?

For the past 7 months (since Dec 2006) I have been practicing positive thoughts and the art of allowing more so than not – yet, the negative … boom! appear … just like that! But it takes forever for the good and the positive to materialize. So the universe is not dumb at all is it? Sounds like it has a larger supply of the negative to dish out than the positive! Yes, I know – you will say this is negative thinking but the question has been on my mind for a while and keeps popping every few days.

Another Question: What do you mean when you say your “attitude” has improved? Do you mean your thoughts or general behavior?

Does anyone know where I can find a "finishing school" type of course on video? I think that type of a program would help me a lot too.

Thank you for anticipated response!
)

Laura De Giorgio is giving away a free Gratitude CD and MP3 if you register for her newsletter. She got a lot of other free stuff too.

Oh my! Thank you so much Bjhn! She does have a collection - will check them out later - I have already downloaded gratitude one - will listen at work!

I HAVE A QUESTION - for anyone ..
I was saying in my post that New History Generator was not bringing me results - I think I just realized that it is perhaps my resistance to it is not allowing the change through. I need to re-listen with all my resitance down if not out of my mind and heart.

Does LS have any affirmations (straight - not para or sub liminals). I used to have a Louise Hay book and now I can't find it - will spend time over the weekend looking for it - that book had nice affirmations.

Update:
Hi Bjhn: Are you a therapist? I am listening to her Gratitude mp3 right now. I am not too keen on her voice - I think it is more about the quality of recording than her voice actually. Thanks anway. I am sure I will listen to it a couple of times and get used to whatever it is that I am not too keen on.

Hi,

Quote:

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Hi Jeanne! Thank you so much – I was feeling sad (I have been checking the thread like every 30 seconds! Talk about nutso!).

I did look at ELS website, they seem to have limited selection. I will download (when I get home later today) their free MP3 to hear the quality of the speaker’s voice. I cannot stand Earl Nightingale’s (Nightingale/Conan) voice although I do like a lot of tapes they promote/distribute. Hopefully Bob Griswold will have a good voice that I can listen to - for hours.

You may be talking about their Positive Thinking and Happiness series. I will check these out. Thank you for the suggestion.

QUESTION however – I may have asked this before because I just don’t get it. If the Universe is supposed to be dumb and processes all requests as received then why does it process negative thoughts faster than the positive?

For the past 7 months (since Dec 2006) I have been practicing positive thoughts and the art of allowing more so than not – yet, the negative … boom! appear … just like that! But it takes forever for the good and the positive to materialize. So the universe is not dumb at all is it? Sounds like it has a larger supply of the negative to dish out than the positive! Yes, I know – you will say this is negative thinking but the question has been on my mind for a while and keeps popping every few days.

Another Question: What do you mean when you say your “attitude” has improved? Do you mean your thoughts or general behavior?

Does anyone know where I can find a "finishing school" type of course on video? I think that type of a program would help me a lot too.

Thank you for anticipated response!
)

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The one I am using is "Positive Thinking Made Easy" and it's in the "Love Tapes" section. I've ordered the CD version, which I hope will be the same as the tape I have.

Attitude improvement: Hard to describe it, but I find myself more cheerful and yes, pretty happy most of the time since starting to use this tape.

As for which type of energy the Universe responds to most--honestly, I think it's equal, but maybe with an edge for the positive, rather than the negative. I think we tend to notice the negative more than the positive, for one thing. Even the newsies know that, hence the huge number of alarming headlines. You don't see many headlines saying, "All Is Peaceful In ____" (fill in the country).

I wonder if you might see your blessings more vividly if you actually counted them, maybe in a notebook?

Let me know if you like the voice. I do, but I know taste can vary.

Jeanne

Dear Decision2change,

Life is relationships and is probably the most important thing in your life.

How to improve relationships? The problems can't really be solved through psychology. Everyone is constantly trying to understand, analyse, judge others whilst struggling to change the other person because 'we know that we are right'.
Unfortunately this doesn't work as we are all like computer programmes and birth,traumas,education,culture and condititioning have programmed each of us. Consequently if you try to understand or change someone it is a bit like one computer programme trying to change another.

What you need to do is to experience the other person fully. Do not try to change them, stop judging and being critical and start to experience them. Step back and watch them like a movie and then you will start to know how to respond.

When you start doing this - accepting the person as they are, no longer being judgmental and critical, your perceptions will change and you will feel happier.

It costs nothing to try - it is simple , practical and it works!

Love and light
Faune

How do you know you are failing at relationships?

If you were to experience success in relationships, what would it be like? How would it be different, in specific, sensory terms, than what you're experiencing now? What would be an example of meeting your goals with relationships?

The way I see it, being in a relationship means that you're going to experience all the negative crap. Being in a relationship means that you relate... whether that relating is pleasant or unpleasant. It means that you stick with it. It means that you continue on and stay with someone whether it's good or bad... to a limit. If someone is abusive or dragging you down past a certain point, or you know for sure that they will, you bail out of self-interest.

But sacrifice and pain and negativity are part of the game.

It's not all sweetness and roses. Those roses are fertilized by manure, you know.

Maybe the way you're relating to people is screwed up. I think this is true for most people in some area or another. We all have our faults. But is this really such a deal breaker for you? Maybe it is.

If it is, then you might want to consider the damage that this magic bullet cure mentality does to us. Not every problem is solved easily or overnight. Sometimes it takes years, decades even, for us to grow out of a particular way of dealing with people. Maybe there are people out there who love you or will love you regardless.

This is just a guess on my part, but it seems to me, D2C, that you decide that some things are big problems for you that need to be addressed before you can get on with life like a normal, average person. I think this is your big problem, actually.

I think that if you just decided, "To hell with it. I am going to live my life and get what's coming to me regardless of these damned problems. To hell with them!" you'd be much better off.

Your problem isn't that you have problems. Your problem is that you're focusing on these problems unnecessarily when you can be just going out there and living life to the fullest you can given your current state. Maybe that isn't as fabulous as you'd like, but it's probably enough.

There's a lot of crap out there about what constitutes a good or, god forbid, "healthy" relationship. It's crap. Trust. Honesty. Blah blah blah. You have a right to keep your secrets. You have a right to lie if you have to lie. Try not to, of course, but sometimes it's better to lie or stay silent than give the truth... which could seriously hurt people and screw things up.

People say they want honesty. People say they want openness. But they don't. They may want to know how you're feeling, in general, but they don't want the total truth. She doesn't want to know, for instance, that you've always thought her nose is really freaking ugly. She doesn't need to know. And you don't need to tell her.

We're human. That's what it boils down to. Don't buy idealistic crap that will turn your life into a nightmare and make you doubt and judge yourself. You're flawed (and thank God for that, anyone that wasn't would be insufferable). We all are. Deal with it and live your life. If you have to live with others in all their glorious, annoying imperfection, they damn well should have to live with you and yours.

Be kind. Control yourself. Be ethical, moral, and compassionate as you can without giving yourself hemorrhoids and chronic hypertension. And give yourself a break. You're human, not an ideal.

On why negativity seems quicker or more pronounced....

According to evolutionary psychology, we developed a great capacity to respond to threats as a survival mechanism.

If there is a hungry tiger around, the thought of it is going to gnaw on you (pardon the pun) until you deal with it. This is a good thing, because it tends to keep you outside of the tiger's mouth. It doesn't manifest the tiger. It keeps you away from the tiger and can even lead to the tiger disappearing (a la shoving your spear into it, skinning and cooking it, and having it disappear into your belly instead of you disappearing into its belly).

We evolved to avoid problems. Our minds are geared toward this. Think of why so much news is bad news. Media conglomerates are taking advantage of our natural tendencies. Bad things catch our attentions because bad things catching your attention has always meant survival for our species.

If there's something screwed up, you better notice it, because if you didn't you wouldn't survive. You'd walk off the cliff, into the tiger's claws, or into fire.

If a food makes you sick, it's gonna take some time and effort for you to be able to eat it again. If you burn your hand on a stove, that's going to stay with you.

These are natural experiences for most intelligent organisms, I think, not just humans. Certainly for intelligent mammals, anyway.

So it's natural. It's part of who we are. It's not the universe. It's us. We tend to notice and focus on what's screwed up.

But humans also have this neat ability of self-reflection. We get to look at the activity of our own minds and bodies and adapt to it. We can look at our behavior, our reactions, and go, "Oh! I am just being a normal human again! Ok." And then you can direct your attention where you want to.

D2C, it's good for all of us to understand who and what we are, as humans, and to learn to accept and adapt to it.

It isn't about the universe reacting to you. You make your decisions. You take your actions. You get your results. It's not so much a big thing as it is situation dependent. I'd take my focus and bring it down to the real world in the here and now, what I am doing, who I am talking to, what situation I am in, etc., and move away from the celestial stuff.

So, I'd say that it isn't about the universe responding quicker to negativity as much as you being very good at noticing and dwelling on negative things. And that's ok. Believe me, your so-called negative focus is not going to bring anything but normal, everyday stuff into your life.

But thinking that negative thinking will bring all sorts of bad things into your life can create a serious amount of mental anguish. "I better not think a negative thought because thinking negative thoughts creates bad things in my life. Oh no! I just thought a bad thought, I better stop thinking about that or I am going to manifest it... but how can I not think about it when thinking about not thinking about it causes me to think about it!"

It creates a cycle of negative thoughts and worry that can create serious anxiety and break you down.

It's better, in my opinion, to just look at how things really are and interact with reality instead of interacting with a set of ideas about reality which may not even be true in the first place.

So notice what your mind tends to do, naturally. Accept it. No need to fight with it. Let it go. Just let it go. Focus on what you want and visualize it or whatever. But don't think that this is a guarantee that it'll happen. It's not. And it's not your fault that you don't get your goals or visualized wishes. It doesn't mean there's something wrong with you. It just means you're a normal person living in a real world, where every child doesn't get a pony just because he wishes hard enough.

Disappointing, but much better than giving yourself hell for not being God.