I also hope someone can help you. And I must admit, I have some fears of having the same thing happen to me.
On the other hand, I have received postive benefits and results from Self-Esteem Super Charger, 10 Minute Supercharger, Deep Relaxation and Prosperity. Also the SFQ Paraliminal "Consistent Practice".
I may be more suggestible than you. Or for some reason, my suggestibility might resonate more with these Paraliminals than you.
I use the Paraliminals a lot for kind of a "guided nap". That is, I often need more rest, but at the same time I need to improve. So I often use them to sort of feed tow birds with one seed, as it were. I listen and if I stay awake, I assume I have made progress. If I fall asleep, I also assume that, but in any case, i feel rested when I am done.
As for PhotoReading, I must admit, you have spent a lot more time and practice on this than I have. My much more limited experience with PR has imporved my learning schools when approaching books.
Again, I assume success with PR and also with Paraliminals. So it might be a kind of "placebo" effect. IN any case, I like the results thus far, with SOME of these tools.
But to be fair to you, I also have a lot of Paraliminals, and I am not sure I have received the results I was looking for with them.
I also asked for help with a problem I was wrestling with, asked which Paraliminal I should use and was advised to put ANOTHER one on my "wish list"! In other words, the 6 or 7 Paraliminals I already had were not enough, so it was suggested I get another one!
At this point, I have almost the entire collection save 4. I often am not sure which one to use. I have ADD, so being able to focus on which one to use becomes another problem.
I just began to use Focus & Concentration and will report back results after I have used it for a few weeks or a month.
But for right now, I do sometimes feel like I have spent a lot of money, with not as much results as I would like.
But to be fair to LS, I chalk a lot of this up to my own blocks and homeostats. Ultimately, none of these tools can "do it for me". They just help create a head of steam (or not) and then it is up to me what I do with them.
I see all of these somewhat as "cheerleaders" and support. It is clear to me that YMMV really applies to these things more than almost any other kinds of systems. None of these things are rocket science and the results seem to be VERY subjective.
Having said that, I still like them, thus far, and look forward to more results.
As for, suggestions for your issues, again, I do not even have the experience you have, but I might begin by limiting your purpose in PR even more. Something like, "I will be able to master this one concept from this book, _________by___________and be able to have an intelligent conversation about it and/or to write a short essay about it and/or give a 10 minute talk about it".
In other words, start smaller and maybe work your way up. You already have invested so much time and money in PR, you have nothing to lose, by scaling BACK with VERY modest goals (e.g. read a book about a particular kind of cooking or skill such as carpentry or paper folding and try to get ONE thing out of the book via using the PR system). Success tends to build on success. If you are able to master one skill, idea, concept, etc via PR, you can then try to build up a bit, just as people do with exercise.
Next try something like, "I will master 3 important concepts/skills/ideas/ from this book and be able to utilize them for a specific project __________(name the project. e.g. building a chair, baking a pie, giving a short talk)".
And so on.
The same thing might work with the Paraliminals. Take ONE Paraliminal and a VERY, VERY modest goal and ONLY work on that for, say a month or more. For example, since you have been having some dreams for other reasons, you might just work with the DREAM PLAY Paraliminal and really just focus all of your meditation and relaxation time on lucid dreaming and dream play. Continue to visualize as you have about the dreams you want to have. Write about them as if they have happened. Read this every night before you go to sleep. When you wake up in the morning, affirm that you dreamed this! I know it sounds like a lie. And so what? The unconsious mind does not know the difference between "fact and fiction". SO continue to act as if it is actually working. See what happens.
What do you have to lose. You have already invested over 100 hours on these things, you might as well try another 15 hours or so with one CD.
I also would write down any resistances you have. You have really done a LOT of work with these things. And it is almost beyind statistical probablity, the lack of results you have received.
This is going to sound strange perhaps, but that much NEGATIVE results, is almost as interesting and inspiring to me as positive results. It speaks to me of resistance. Even by accident, you should have had better results than you report. THerefore, there may be really serious resistance there to change and success. And even if the PR and Paraliminals could never help you (or even if they are totally bogus and can't help anyone), the very fact that so little has changed, seems to almost SHOUT out that there is some serious block that you are having that PR or no PR and Paraliminal or no Paraliminals, you might need to work on those blocks and resistance. This can be done in journal work, in therapy, with creative visualization, with prayer, and with other methods that might work for you, even if LSC tools do not.
Again, I am amazed and impressed with the amount of commitment, time, energy and money you were willing to put into these things with little or no results. IN other words, I think it is laudible how much you are willing to give to improve. Even if these things do not work for you, I think you need to give yourself a pat on the back for how committed to change and improvement you are.
ANd at the same time, you do point out the danger of addiction to anything, including self-help tools. THere needs to be a balance between using these tools and then letting them go and just doing things. I know for me, this is a delicate balance (the amount of time, I spend writing in this forum alone can show that I may be out of balance!
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At this point, I would not just give up, but with whatever help you receive here, and also from the phone coaching (have you called LSC and asked for some coaching? If not, why not? If so, what do they say?).
Again, I would first work on one thing at a time. Have a very modest goal that is measurable and proveable and stick with that one thing for at least a month. Try not to spread it out too thin by using more than one or two Paraliminals. See if you can "conjure" up at least one small success. Than celebrate that. Write about it: in your journal, to supportive friends or family, via e-mail, here, wherever.
And find out where the resistances are and see what you can do to let them go. The Sedonna Method is an easy way to work with these things. I did try to buy the book, but I had to let go even of that! But enough of the method can be learned even from their free CD and DVD demos. It is just practicing letting go from different perspectives and using self-talk and questions (e.g. "Could I let this go? Would I let this go?" When?") and repeating them over and over again until we give in, give up and let go.
Even if the LSC tools never give youy anything else, if they give you this, it would still be well worth it. Or rather I should say for myself, that if that is all I get from them, it is well worth it to me.
I do indeed hope that Alex and/or others can help you more than I can. ANd I hope my modest suggestions help a bit.
Keep us informed.
