I can relate to the struggle. Small Universe can be a challenge. I have been doing the 1 hour version mostly lately. I still do the half hour version sometimes and I even will sometimes either with or without the recording, do just a few cycles (either when I miss a "full" practice session or to give me a "booster shot" during the day.
I had a big breakthrough yesterday with SU: I have sometimes gotten through the shorter version without losing my place (after the Master Lin's coaching stops--he does 3 cycles with coaching and then says, "Now do the rest by yourself"), but rarely. Never with the one hour version. With that one, I either "doze" or just lose my place multiple times. Sometimes as many as 5 or 6 or maybe more, but never less than 3 or 4.
Until yesterday morning's meditation!
I did lose my place one time (more than halfway through!), but quickly found my way back (I somehow was at the spinal cord, when the lower tantien "om" was sounding. Don't know if I skipped ahead or actually lost a bunch of breaths. I think I would prefer the latter because it would mean I was so lost in the meditation -or maybe the emptiness- that I lost some time. Which I like, actually!). And then for the rest of the meditation, I was right on the energy center for every one. It was kind of like riding a horse or some other kind of natural "flow" sport (sailing which I have done or maybe surfing, which I have never done).
And when the hour was up, it did not feel at ALL like an hour! It felt very good and very short and I could feel a bunch of blockages unblock. That was my best sitting Small Universe ever and I know it was a result of much practice with it without giving up (and a lot of sessions where sometimes struggled the whole way with stray thoughts, fidgeting, losing my place, dozing etc. A LOT! MANY!).
Now, I must add here that this is all on top of a three week period following my participation in the recent Triple Fortune weekend with Paul Scheele, Marie Diamond and Chunyi Lin. I had a remarkable healing experience there that I intend to share in another post in a topic I will start. Meeting Master Lin, experiencing this remarkable healing and a lot of the learning that I experienced that weekend has given me a HUGE supercharge of motivation, momentum and inspiration and I am sure that has something to do with what I feel was a breakthrough.
I also helped someone with a qigong healing for my very first time a few days ago. More on that also in a future post in thread of its own (or related one).
But boosts or now boosts, I feel fairly certain, that this is like anything else : with practice comes results. Because it is "passive" (although there is a lot of activity going on inside), it is not the same kind of results one gets from doing more on the outside. And it can be more subtle. And therefore less "inspiring" sometimes.
But I am convinced that as Master Lin says, the most important Qigong work really does come from the meditations. Don't get me wrong: the Active Exercise is VITAL for most of us for much of our development (depending on condition, blockages, previous energy work etc) in order to get the powerful results from the meditations. But after practicing SFQ now for almost 2 years, I can tell you the powerful 1-2 punch of SFQ is in the strong relationship between the Active Exercise and the meditation, most importanly, the Small Universe.
I encourage to keep doing it. Do as much as you can as many times as you can. One of the coaches at the SFQ Center told me "even 1 or 2 cycles (i.e. 10 minutes or less), will produce results". I love this advice, and it has helped me maintain consistancy and momentum over a period of time. At one point, I had cut up some mp3's of the SU recordings (both with and without coaching) into small segments (3 minutes and 10 minutes, as well as a 48 minute version that I used that had only the om's and mo's without coaching or ending). I had that on an old mp3 player that I no longer use. I might still use these with my iPod (where I have almost all of my SFQ materials now). But I have gottent to a point that I can do at least 3-10 cycles without any recording, music or coaching. I sometimes will "play" Master Lin's voice in my head for those sessions.
You might also try doing it standing up in a posture (could be "holding the ball" or even "Forming of Yin and Yang") right after doing the Active Exercise. I found a lot of good, strong results with this early in my SFQ practice. I was more used to doing standing meditation because of Zhang Zhuan qigong standing from my Tai Chi and Bagua practice from years before. And like you, I had trouble with good sitting postures (right now, I am in a kind of modified half-lotus which has one leg fully on my thigh and the other (my right foot), kind of tucked up into the left leg, so it is almost a full lotus. It hurts a bit when I am done, but I feel good while sitting in it).
One of my early Small Universe Meditations was an hour long session while standing. Though I might have lost my place a few times, it was fewer at that point than while sitting. Less tendency to doze (for me). I also had a BIG release of energy during that session where I shook uncontrollably and cried like a baby (it actually felt quite good and I was prepared by many of the remarks of Master Lin, plus some previous experiences with such energy release).
Standing allows energy to flow freely (as probably lying down does as well, but that can lend itself to falling asleep) and can easlly follow the Active Exercise (it flows directly from the Active Exercise).
And since Master Lin gives "permission" (one of the things I really like about SFQ is how "permissive" or flexible it is. For me, that has been a real motivator in keeping up my practice), to do it "sitting, standing or lying down", I think for many people, standing at a certain level might be valuable. I know it was for me. Maybe it will be for you.
The most important thing, is to quote my wife's Tae Kwon Do teacher of years ago (he is now deceased), a Master Kim of the DC area, "Remember important Winston Churchill
one word saying: 'DON'T GIVE UP!' " It is possible that in Korean, this was one word. In any case, I like the way he put it and the way my wife tells it.
Don't give up! Keep meditating! You WILL experience results.
